Just ask my husband and he'll tell you that I'm a walking contradiction. Happy and sad all in one moment. Hopeful and frustrated in the next.
But aren't most of us?
And when we are, don't we tend to hurt the people that we love the most? Aren't we notoriously taking for granted the people who we share the most time, space, and intimacy with?
I really don't know what's been up with me lately...but I've been in a mood. I can't put my finger on it, but something's amiss.
Sure I've been disgruntled with homilies at church. Yes, I'm tired of all of the political hub bub and divisive dialogue that seems to abound. I'm absolutely aware of my short comings and the times that I say to hell with it when I should be washing clothes, dishes, windows, or the baby. And yes, I've fallen behind in some areas of my life.
But none of it gives me the right to be a bitch to those I love. So how do I cope with that which feels disconnected but has no name...no label...no fix it solution.
My husband had a great suggestion and one that for me is almost impossible to implement. Let it be. Sit with it. Feel the rage, the anger, the frustration. Don't rush the diagnosis. Be still.
And so for today, I stand in awe of the mysteries of love. The ways that we love another so unconditionally that we choose to let them be instead of making them pay for their behavior. Beautiful.