Ode to Sam on Your 18th Birthday

 My Dearest Sam,

Happy, Happy 18th Birthday! 

How is it possible that you're soaking in the final few months of senior year, waiting to hear from colleges, preparing for your first trip abroad, spending every free moment with friends, and enjoying the last Prep traditions of leading Freshman Retreat, enjoying Mother/Father/Son masses, competing at Quiz Bowl tournaments, finalizing art portfolios, and sinking into your new favorite Philosophy and AP Government classes?!

Sometimes, when I think of you, I remember this little guy...

 

Only to reflect, in this picture on who I know you to be now...

 both photos taken at Elmwood Park across from our home, but seemingly, a lifetime apart.

 

So much growth happens in 18-years.  It really is remarkable.  And while everyone says to enjoy it because it's fleeting, I haven't fully realized, maybe gratefully, that you've been becoming an incredible young man along the journey.

 

This past year alone has been filled with so much change.  You were home far less working to save money to go on a WWII history trip which dad and I are so incredibly excited for.  When your passport arrived, we all looked at each other and knew that the little blue book symbolized freedom.  

 

The year has also been consumed with a crazy amount of college application writing, creation of fine arts portfolios, scholarship essays, busy AP courses...and back and forth, and back and forth...weighing of the pro's and con's of differing school options.  When I think back to my senior year, I really don't remember it being this hard.  I don't recall college costing five million dollars or feeling like I had as many viable options as you do.  And while we sit and wait for God's plan to unfold, I'm trusting that whether your next adventure takes you to the Chicago land area, the coast of Maine, the beauty of Minnesota, or maybe even close by in Nebraska, that you'll grow right where you're planted.  And this is where you and I are stepping out on a leap of faith praying that all the stars will align, benevolent influences will emerge, money trees will flourish, and guardian angels will watch over as you step into adulthood.

And as you do, I want to say thank you.  Thank you for letting us cheer you on like crazy people at four years of Cross Country meets.  It was a thrill to see your mind and heart push you all the way to the finish line.

 

Thank you for surrounding yourself with an incredible group of rock solid friends that have enriched your life and our families.  It has been a gift to watch your friendship unfold.

 

Thank you for pushing your creativity and serving in a leadership role for Prep's Film/Photography Club trying with each project to learn, stretch, grow and practice honing your skills. 

 Thank you for continuing to cultivate your faith--serving at the Rosebud Reservation, volunteering to lead retreats, sharing your rose at the dinner table, considering God's plan for your future, and for attending mass and sharing what it means to live a life of service.

 

Thank you for putting your family first and helping to look out for your sisters through rides to and from everything and giving good advice along the way.

 

 

 

There's a million spaces of gratitude that I feel for all that you've brought to my life, to our family, and to the world during your 18-years on the planet, but you know me, I have to leave you with a few words as you register to vote, get ready to walk across the commencement stage, sign your acceptance letter to your future college, maybe meet the one just for you, and carve a life of your choosing...

• Wherever you go and whomever you meet, remember who you are.  You have an incredible compass--trust it--you will know when to capitalize on a situation or to run like Hell, and when you don't, call home--we'll talk it through.
• Say yes more than you say no.  It's easy to think that something won't work and that you're not the kind of person who does this or works there or says that---but the truth is, you don't know until you try.  The great illusion is permanence.  Nothing remains the same.  You can always course correct.  And if you take the risk, you will learn something about yourself.  Nothing is wasted.  
• You are worthy. Period.  If anyone tries to convince you otherwise, politely excuse yourself.  You have one precious life.  Live it, fully.  No one gets to make you small or diminish your possibilities in this big world that has room for everyone.
• Nothing that is worth it is easy.  Put the time in.  Commit.  Stretch yourself.  You won't be disappointed.
  
• Live life with a servant heart.  Everyone in this world is valuable.  Give much more than you take.
• Remember to say please and thank you, always.  No excuses.
• Trust that God is with you in every encounter and that when it feels hard, all you have to do is reach out and ask for guidance, and sooner, rather than later, you realize that no matter where you go and or what has happened, you're never really alone.
• It's okay to miss home.  It's always okay to come home.  But before you do, have an adventure first.  Good things happen to those who get out of the house and off their phones.
• If I text you too much, it's because I love you and I'm practicing boundaries.  Thanks in advance for the grace and love.

I think this is the beginning of the list.  I'm sure I'll have many more before we pack the van and drop you off at school, but until then, wow, just wow, 18-years!  I can hardly believe it.  Happy Birthday to my first born, one and only son---I could not love you more.

 

Love, Mama