I'm not on auto pilot in my life right now and that has me tired...a good chunk of the time.
You know what I mean by auto pilot, right? It's that sweet spot when you've sort of mastered your role at at the office, you've got a good schedule going on at home, your partner/kids are doing well, and life is sort of coasting. These seasons afford you time to dream about the next stage or to get complacent.
Staring down the last two weeks of training prior to my first half marathon, I've been putting in a lot of time running, icing, stretching, and in general trying to take care of my body. I'm hyper aware of melting away the last few pounds and am eagerly awaiting my swim suit in the mail.
I'm trying to resurrect my jewelry business (so if you're in need of fun summer jewels, call me). I'm trying to figure out how to organize the summer so that the kids don't drive each other crazy and send me to the loony bin. And, most spare moments are spent chasing an insanely busy, high energy, sneaky 16-month old around.
I'm not coasting. I feel like I'm "on" a lot. Most moments are really full and when they're not, it's because my body, brain or both have gone kaput.
So this is the push. You've been there before. Where you've got to stay determined, a little "balls to the wall," and very focused on the prize...because it is all within reach. I'm trying to use visualization techniques, mantras, phone calls to friends and in general, an undying belief that says "you WILL get there."
But I've gotta admit, I'm looking forward to finding the sweet spot again. Then again, knowing me, I'll be on to the next thing.