Thursday, April 12, 2012

The Pesky Period

Admittedly, this will probably not be a post of interest for men, unless you want to understand women better.

I've never met a woman, who loved being on her period.

The only part that is consoling for me, right now, is that I'm not pregnant.  Currently, my womb is not open for business.

But let's talk about this "not talked about" subject.  I really think that the menstrual cycle is God's punishment to women for not being pregnant or's the only time that you're free from the bloody curse.

Otherwise, you're marking the calendar for some semblance of organization and preparedness, because yes, it sucks to be caught with your pants down and no tampon in sight.

It also sucks to have to worry about carrying tampons everywhere you go for 3, 5, 7 days depending upon the length of your curse.  And, knowing that you have to modify your wardrobe by wearing the ugliest granny pants in the back of your drawers and no light colored pants, shorts, or skirts because it's a messy, leaky process.

Not to mention the emotional, hormonal, irritable part of the deal which can start a week or more ahead of the cycle and continue throughout.  You're a bitch,  Irrational.  Pissed.  Off.  Nothing goes your way and everyone is the enemy especially, your husband and kids.  And the worst part is that you can not control this shit.  Midol Schmidol.  This is witchcraft, black magic, voodoo shit that you are cursed with.

And, Heaven help the poor soul who evenly remotely alludes to the fact that you may be having your monthly visit because that just sends most women into a conniption fit.  We already feel out of control.  We don't want it rubbed in our face.

So, for those of you sons and husbands who want half of the month to be sane, you should just start budgeting now for a spa get away for those women in your life that you love.  No need to try to understand the intricacies of the menstrual cycle....just remove her from your lives.  Everyone will be happier and life will be smooth and enjoyable.  Because God knows, the period is pesky.

1 comment:

  1. In ancient times they sent women out of the home and to a tent in the woods or something. Why did that stop?
    We should be given the week off work once. A month! I'm so fatigued I'm worthless anyway!
    But as for the mess and clutching a selection of tampons. ... honey that's why they invented the Diva Cup!!


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