Friday, July 20, 2012

The Swimsuit Factor

We belong to a pool that caters to families.

Everywhere you go, you see kids taking swim lessons, cruising down water slides, splashing under water filled buckets, and usually, older members taking outdoor aquatics classes.

The clientele aren't college kids or young somethings.  They're usually guys and girls in their 30's and 40's raising kids.

Most have spare tires, cellulite, bags under their eyes and smiles on their faces watching their little ones love the water.

Nobody's trying to impress anyone, they're just thankful to have gotten everyone out of the house in one piece for a family excursion beating the heat.

So, why is it that when you're sitting by the pool (dipping your toes in while the baby fills up her water containers countless times) that there's a slight awkward factor that happens when you sit down next to another "dad."  Because, it doesn't happen when you sit down next to another "mom."

All of the sudden, there's an extreme focus on your kid trying to avert the attention away from the fact that you're both in swimsuits and that most people feel self conscious showing their skin.

And let's just be honest, a swim suit is like wearing your bra and underwear out in public.  And, when you move (unless you have no ass fat), your ass continually peaks out of the back of your suit causing you to readjust or let the world check out your back side.

No one ever says anything...everyone's married...but there's a slight tension in the air that has to be signaled by the fact that we're all half naked.

Thinking I was a crazy lady, I pedaled this concept past my husband (who spent 12 years being a life guard) who confirmed that yes, the swimsuit vibe is all over matter your gender, height, weight, marital status...everyone checks out everyone at the pool.

But what happens when you get caught?

Something happens when you become a middle aged mom with three kids...suddenly, you're not supposed to notice the swim suit factor.  But how can you not?  Sweet Fancy Moses.

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