Wednesday, July 11, 2012

My Love Hate Relationship with Food

For as long as I can remember, I've always struggled with my relationship with food.

Yearning to be the skinny girl and never quite making the cut, I've used food to make me feel better, to celebrate my successes, to make the boy pay who didn't love me, to pass the time when I'm bored, and in general, for entitlement purposes.

And I'm not talking about diet coke and apples, I'm talking about chocolate malts and potato chips...why?  because they taste good and mindless eating is easy and addictive.

Now that I've been aware of my health and invested in my body, I've become painfully conscientious  of how food and emotions go hand in hand.

So, how do I break the cycle?

Swap out crack and cigarettes for Dairy Queen?

Drink meal replacements when I'm feeling needy?

Have sex when I want to binge on Ben & Jerry's?

Ahhhh...the limited and limitless options, most of which are unsustainable and unsatisfying.

Inspired by a dear friend's blog posting, I think the beginning of the journey lies in sitting still and listening to my fears, paying attention to my body and trusting that it's going to be okay...even without the container of chocolate covered espresso beans.

But it's not easy and it doesn't happen overnight, especially when it's been a life long habit.  I'm thankful that I'm not alone and that most women struggle with a similar nemesis.

I think there should be some sort of cafe/spa that we can retreat to when we're feeling stressed out or less than...that nurtures our soul and connects us to each other...instead of to the pint of ice cream.

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