Because it's been 550 degrees here for the last, I don't know, million days, I've been at the pool with the kiddos almost every day.
And so, much like if you're stuck in an office environment or at the mall, you can't help but people watch and start to take internal notes.
First up, here's a shout out to all the dick parents. You know who you are. The ones who can't be bothered. Knee deep in their "People" magazines with their fatty cellulite legs soaking up all of our sun who can't splash around with their kiddos and are irritated if they're interrupted.
Then, there's the talkers. The ones who are chatting about the latest home improvement projects, childcare options for the fall, which child got which teacher, what they're going to name their next baby and why Henry just won't stay down for his nap.
Then, there's the fun parents. The ones who let their kids dump water on their heads, who catch them going down the water slides, who watch the ice cream sandwich drip down their gooey fingers and just smile.
Then, there's the creepy dude in the whirl pool with the flesh colored speedo showing all of his parts to the world scarring children and their mothers.
Then, there's the hot 19-year old lifeguards baked to a crisp twirling their whistles waiting desperately for rest break.
And, then my favorite latest character...an about ready to pop, drop dead gorgeous, pregnant mommy in a black bikini drinking something with an umbrella while her kids tackle each other in the pool.
As we were leaving yesterday, I told her that she was the most beautiful pregnant woman I'd seen and that I wished I'd been brave enough to wear a bikini when I was pregnant. She retorted with, "Wear one now...have you seen it around here? You'd be doing the place a favor."
Ah, the pool.