I've had some interesting dialogues lately about what women can expect in a marriage with regard to love.
Or maybe more specifically, what women shouldn't expect so as to make life less confrontational.
My girlfriend said that she had an epiphony in her marriage when she discovered that you can not expect your partner to be your everything, to fulfill your needs, to make you happy, essentially, there's no such thing as a white knight, a castle, a fairy tale, and a Disneyland. That's why we have girlfriends, she claims...to fill in the gaps...sometimes, really big gaps.
Other girlfriends say that they've given up on the idea of traditional romance in their marriages and have learned to love the "every day" acts of service that their husbands provide...like mowing the lawn, taking out the trash, changing the oil in the car, shoveling the snow.
And still others, are frustrated wishing that the man they dated could reappear from time to time in the man that they married.
The jury's still out for me. I really think that men can and do step up to the plate. They know how. They've done it before. They just have to choose to and sometimes, be prompted. I don't think it has to look like rose petals and wine. And, I don't think that taking out the trash isn't romantic. I just think that women need to communicate what they love and what feels like love and men have to be willing to step outside of the every day box.
How does it play out at your house?