Monday, February 6, 2012

Self Sabotage

Self sabotaging behaviors...

You know what I'm talking about, right?

Those things we do...that we're painfully aware of, that habitually rear their ugly heads just when we seem to be making progress in our lives and then, wham decide to throw a wrench in the deal?

For example, if you're a spender, it's that time when you know you should simply pass by the store, but your rationalizing subconscious says, "what will it hurt to just walk in and take a look?"

Or, if you're a procrastinator and you know that something is due by Monday morning at 8 and you say to yourself that Saturday needs to be a day of rest.  You'll get to it first thing on Sunday.  Except Sunday seems to slip away, and you're exhausted by 10pm only to have a huge project staring you in the face.

Or, you're me.  A mama who's been sick for the last 10 days...hasn't exercised at staring down a training program for her first big race and feels deflated...because everything that was working has to be put on hold until she gets better.

And so, in traditional Kelly fashion...I say, "screw it." And want to let my healthy eating habits go by the way side, my mental mojo fall into the toilet and my self confidence peeter away.  Because really, who am I kidding?

It angers me that at the end of the day, we are our own worst enemies.  Most everyone in our lives wants what is best for us.  And usually if we ask, they will support our choice to not spend money, waste time, or get better so, that we can get back to our normal rituals and routines.  

The problem, at least for me, is not in my support system, it's in me.  I have to decide that this will not be a permanent set back and that the practices and behaviors I had in place before were not a fluke.  This race will happen with a fit girl.  I simply have to trust that. 

No more self sabotage.  It's an unnecessary distraction.

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