Sunday, October 12, 2014

Market 2 Market Magic

I lucked out.

In every way imaginable.

This was my second year participating in a 79-mile Market 2 Market (M2M) relay race from Omaha to Lincoln, Nebraska.

If you've never done one of these deals before, it's an absolute blast.  Over 500 teams gather in vehicles, many of which are decorated (both the cars and the people) in hysterical themes like the Victoria's Secret Panty Wagon, the CDC Rapid Response Team and the Smurfs.  One by one, runners jump out of their cars carrying a baton to run 2-5 miles per stage with a total of 21 different exchange points across eastern Nebraska until your team completes 79 total miles of running.

You traverse stunning trails, beautiful rural scenery, loads of small towns and end up in fabulous downtown Lincoln for beer, music and celebration.

This year was truly amazing.

The weather was spectacular.  The high was 60 degrees with loads of sunshine and the perfect amount breeze.

But hands down, what made it the best, were my team mates.  Here we are:

Meet Sarah...she's "St. Patrick's Day"...the one in green and yellow on the left and the youngest one of the bunch..she indulged me while I gave her a speech about why she wasn't allowed to get married until she turned 30 and how she needed to travel, buy frivolous shit and have lots of sex before she tied the knot.

Then there's me...I'm cupid or "Valentine's Day"...I'm holding a bow and arrow and flung lots of phrases like vaginal secretion and sweet Mary Mother of God's at the team...they were all good sports about it.

Now, onto Deb, she's "Fourth of July" and probably the nicest person on the face of the earth.  A nurse and mother of three, she gave everyone lots of positive reinforcement and a swift kick in the ass when we needed to get our run on.

And then adorable, Ann...she's the yellow "Easter" Bunny.  She laughed at all my jokes and drank copious amounts of beer in the car once her hamstring bit it after her last run.  And she was my pee partner.  We pissed behind trees at an exchange point and looked out for each other.

Oh God...then meet the team captain, Jessica "Jess"...she is "Christmas" and this bitch will light you up.  She is hysterical.  She was the primary driver and took shit from no one.  She would mow your ass down when it came time to get us from point A to point B and then drank everyone under the table post the shin dig.  We love you, Jess!

Laura...AKA scary as shit "Halloween"...this Catholic High School teacher had more tricks up and down her sleeves...a bone in her hair, a snake in her sock, a spider on her leg and cob webs up and down her chest...she was lightning speedy and got the job done...the Smurfs didn't stand a chance.

And then there's Chad or "Memorial Day" friend from high school that I recruited to join our crazy band of bitches. While you're lucky to get three words out of him the whole car ride, when it comes to charging your phone, making sure that you don't get lost on the course, and that sub 7-miles were accumulated...he's your man.  Here's a fun picture of us.  We spent time lamenting that we're turning 40 this year.

Missing from the photo because she was on the race course is Melissa or "Cinco de Mayo"  She cracks my shit up.  She literally brought bacon and Vodka as fuel for the trek.  She was fast and determined.  No smurf was gonna smoke her ass.

The day was a super fun mix of twizzlers, peanut M&M's, almonds, bananas, Gatorade, fig newtons, Greek yogurt, dance music, sweaty stench (primarily courtesy of me), lots of cursing (again, hats off to me) and gazads of cheering.

But I would be remiss, if we didn't pay homage to the Testicle Festival Sign that we all modeled for. Glorious site, indeed.
By the time it was all said and done, we were worn out, but super "happy in our hearts."  The sun was going down.  We had Michelob Ultras in our hands, fun music playing in the background and an extraordinary sense of accomplishment. 

It was a great day to be a team of 7 girls and 1 guy staying healthy, getting a little crazy and remembering that life is for the living...but that ultimately, it takes a village to get there.  Love you, crazy cats.  Let's do it again next year!

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