"Are you home? I'd love to swing by and bring you a coffee..."
"Shit...I'm already in the Starbucks drive through (shocker) and on the way to the library with my Claire Bear. Want to meet us?"
"On my way."
I feel extraordinarily blessed to have really great friends in my life. Friends who are loyal. Friends who are funny, witty, beautiful, and filled with a shit ton of wisdom.
And this friend is particularly incredible. I've taken to calling her the Phoenix. Give her any set of circumstances and she will rise above the ashes and gracefully shine in the process.
And so while watching Claire gather her stuffed animal friends and gazads of books, we talked about the potential suitors in her life, taking care of our bodies, and possible career opportunities.
I told her that now that my kiddos are getting bigger, I'm trying to incorporate all of the parts of me that remind me most of "me" while still being a wholly committed wife and mother. So, hopefully, the kick ass and take names academic and career-driven woman that I remember from my 20's still has a place in my life...if only modified and hopefully, a bit wiser and less insecure.
She agreed. And said that she's pursuing a really fabulous job recognizing that now is the time in her life to go a bit more full throddle in the career department. "What do have to lose? I can do my best and if I hate it, I'm not wed to it. I can do something else. That's the best part about being older and wiser. You realize that you do have what it takes, you just have to decide if it's really what you want."
Bingo. I've been lamenting this whole getting older pushing my fortieth birthday thing and really for what? It's got to be true that with age comes experience and with experience comes perspective and with perspective comes preference and ultimately, when you've landed where you feel most engaged, utilized and happy in your heart, you know that you're where you're supposed to be...which is the really what it's all about.
So, in the final moments of 2014, I reassert my New Year's resolution, "Fuck fear." Go out and do your thing. Kick ass and take names in whatever way you need to show up in your life. What do you have to lose? Nothing other than a big bag of regrets.