You'll never find anyone more hopeful than me.
I love inspirational quotes, sayings, anecdotal tales and in general, have always adopted a belief that with enough skin in the game, passion in the heart, smarts in the head, and support...anything and virtually everything is possible.
But this morning, I was exhausted. My husband had been out of town for three days and my routine was shook up. I hadn't been running in the early mornings and today was the first day back at it.
And I felt every step of five miles. At two miles, I was about to literally throw the towel in. My legs felt like lead. I couldn't seem to catch my breath. My mind felt like it was in a fog. And I was pissed. I've not had a bad run in a while. And, I 'm days away from a half marathon race.
So when I decided that I would have a triumphant snails pace run if it killed me, I started playing mind games. Just get to the next quarter mile. Just get to the end of this song and you can stop. Visualize yourself on Lake Shore Drive whipping past the crowd flying to cross the finish line. Imagine that you're carrying your children on your back through the desert and its the only way out.
I know...I was desperate.
But I guess in retrospect, it causes me to pause and remember that 99.9% of the time, it's all in our head. All of it. All the second guessing. All the game playing. All the fantasizing. All the fear, the dread, the worry, the why me's?
And when we decide to change the game and create our own rules of play, it can happen. It's harder than fuck. But it can happen.
And so today, I thank God and Eminem and my friend who showed up early to run as well. And, my belief that everything on any given day is possible.