Tuesday, September 30, 2014

The Holy Grail of Girl Friendships

I felt badly when she called.

I was really busy.

Right in the middle of the chaos that is my life.

But I told her that it wasn't a bad time and that of course, I could talk.

I waved my hands toward my 3-year old as if to kindly, silently, and with pseudo-American sign language say..."Mommy's on the phone..go away."

But she wouldn't go away.  She whined for chocolate milk, apples, cheetohs, a show on Netflix, me to play a game with her.

I locked myself in the bathroom and tried to decipher what my friend had been saying for the last minute and a half.

"Whoa...wait a minute, back up, he what?"  "Oh God."  "That's what I thought you said."

Let me begin by saying that there's nothing worse than having a good friend who is hurting and lives far away.  There was a time in my life when I could have hopped a plane, but today is not that day.  My money is counted for and my children and husband would be left high and dry.

So, in light of that, let me also say that Hell has no fury than a best friend who's hands are tied and wants desperately to help.  In a nutshell, her husband was being an asshole and I'd had enough.

"Listen, you tell that  good for nothing, shit for brains, mother fucker that I will get on a plane and annihilate him."  Which of course, we both know is not true, but we both feel better that we said it.

And then, for the next 30-minutes, we talked it all out.  She cried.  I screamed.  We walked through all of the scenarios.  And, at the end, we were both exhausted, and extremely grateful for one another.

Because if you're a guy reading this, let me tell you something about female friendships...they're really like the Holy Grail...once you find and cultivate them, it would take a nuclear war to disassemble them.  They're powerful.  They're beyond reliable.  They're different than the spousal partnership.  There are things you tell your girls.  There are bonds you forge.  There are ways that you show up in the darkest of days and in the brightest of moments that let's your girlfriend know that you will always be there for her...come Hell or high water.

And so, that afternoon, I got off the phone and felt good.  I showed up.  Albeit, in the bathroom...but I was there as I know she will be for me, sometime soon.

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