I was tired.
When the 4:30am alarm went off, I did not want to get out of bed and before I re-entered the house post my spinning class, I already knew that I was going to be a bitch.
I tried talking myself out of it, anticipating all of the ways that my children would be slow to rise; my husband would hit his snooze button religiously; I would have to remind them over and over again to grab some article for their back pack and to hurry it up.
Knowing that I had a full day on the horizon, I just didn't have the strength to take the high road. And for that, I'm apologizing now. Because rarely am I an explosive bitch. No, I prefer the fingers on a chalk board, continual nagging until everyone is miserable and begging to get the fuck out of the house.
All of this is coupled by the fact that the neighbors are replacing their driveway and walks and so the concrete trucks constant banging, grinding and thudding add fuel to the fire in the background.
But after I got everyone on their way, I thought, why didn't I suck it up and just go through the paces and do my duty? Everyone is doing it in one form or another in households all across the world, trying not to go ballistic maintaining the morning rituals.
Instead, while putting the dishes away, I dreamed of a day when my children own complete responsibility for putting ice packs in their lunches, ice in their water bottles, a reading book in their back packs, clean, brushed teeth in their mouths, braids in their hair, gym shoes on their feet, deodorant in their pits all in the 45-50 minutes that they have post putting their sleepy, waking-up feet to the floor.
I'm certain that I'm asking too much. The truth is that hardly anyone wants to get out of their warm beds, especially while it's still dark outside, to prepare to go to the office or the classroom. We'd all rather sleep until we naturally wake, eat cold pizza for breakfast, stay in our jammies, not worry about client projects or Social Studies tests and play in the sunshine.
Here's to finding a better way to help each other make the inevitable more manageable and definitely more loving.
Here's to the do-over morning tomorrow...