I woke up this morning freezing.
Fumbling toward my night stand, I grabbed my phone and saw that the temperature was 34 degrees.
Wandering down to the kitchen, I lit a candle and dutifully clicked the coffee pot while I grabbed a fleece sweater and curled up in a chair waiting for the liquid gold to brew.
Because it's pitch black outside at 7am, no one wants to get out of bed, including me. But the reality is that fall is slowly saying goodbye and with only a few days left of October, the craze of the holiday season and winter will soon be upon us.
I have such a love hate relationship with this time of year. I always beg for an Indian Summer...one that will last with 65-70 degree days far into November and snow that will only come lightly with big puffy flakes just in time for Christmas, while only leaving a dusting on the drive.
I want weather that warrants cups of tea, cider, chai and coffee, but not the kind that has me chilled to the bone, finding my way to the tub on a daily basis.
I yearn for red, orange and yellow leaves that stay well past Halloween and crunch as I walk my kids bundled to and from school...but not the wet ones that sink into the cracks of my drive and make it impossible and gross to gather into yard waste bags.
I beg for pause. An opportunity to be slower, to reflect, to be more mindful...but not so much so that I find myself lazy, apathetic and filled with consternation about all of the projects I should have gotten done but now have no energy or interest in accomplishing.
I pray for renewal. As the end of the year winds down, I seek the time to be grateful for all that was and hopeful for all that is to come.
I guess, I want for a lot in a rather complicated, particular way.
Staring down Daylight Savings Time on Sunday morning...I say, thank you for sunshine earlier in the day but boo to 5:30pm dark drives home.
And as Autumn stands in the corner singing his song of farewell, I say, I'll miss you. I think I can bear the winter months as long as you promise to return again in the not so distant future.
"Autumn...the year's last, loveliest smile." William Bryant