Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Birthing Me...not a Babe

So, I've got a story for you.

It's funny now, but wasn't at the time.

A couple of weeks ago, I was late.  Not for the movies or for mass...but for my monthly date with a friend...we'll call her Flo.

Freaking out, I made a mad dash to Target with my kiddos in tow and grabbed a test.  Fielding questions from my son about what was inside the box...I made the executive decision to pee on the stick in the restroom stall.  Humbling, I know.

All humility out the door, I sat in a public restroom praying the "Hail Mary" aloud hoping that I wasn't expecting anything other than a period.

The test that day and for a few days following came back negative.  I didn't get it.  Why was I so late?

The morning that Flo did come to visit, I told my husband, "I'm good.  I'm really happy with our family.  Thankful for the health of our kids.  Grateful that I get to experience mothering a boy and 2 girls.  And, selfishly if anybody gets to be birthed in this mix...I'm ready for it to be me."

I feel bad claiming that I want my body back...but I do.  I know that many women are yearning to have a baby and would be grateful for the opportunity and my heart goes out to them.  To that end, I am happy to sell Claire.  She's cute and doesn't take up too much space. 

But for now, I'm ready to birth me and not a babe.  Is that so wrong?


  1. NO!!!! That's not wrong at all!!! I TOTALLY understand! I was ready to have my body back too! God just had other plans for us....but, I'm thinking that after two girls and a boy for us too, that I will be REALLY ready to have my body back! Between being pregnant and then nursing it's really time. I feel you Kelly! And there's nothing wrong with that at all! =)

  2. Hi Megan!

    So good to hear from you. First, let me say that having 3 is a lot of fun! And how exciting that you're having a boy! They will be so close. I'm glad that you can relate to wanting your body back. It's been a long road for me, but one that I'm committed to. Hugs to you!


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