My husband and I have been having a hard time lately.
It feels as though our focus on the kids and work has been consuming. When all is said and done and the kids are in bed, the dishes are done, the laundry is put away and the house is quiet, my husband and I are exhausted. And when we have a few moments to breathe, we yearn to "zone out" into our favorite past times...me reading the New York Times, he listening to a pod cast or both of us falling asleep...sometimes in our clothes.
We certainly don't have it hard. Sure we have three children under the age of six...but I stay at home which means when I don't have a jewelry party, I'm in sweats most of the day. Sam and Kate's respective schools are near by. Ray has a minimal commute to the office and often he is able to flex his schedule to help out with most anything that comes up. I know that other families are tackling far more complicated sets of circumstances.
In short, I think the kids are doing more than fine. But my mom once told me that it's not the kids that you need to worry about, it's the parents. Because when mom and dad aren't as connected as they should be, that's danger zone for the kiddos. They need to nurture a strong foundation. It doesn't just keep itself afloat.
And so how do we get back to that? You know what I mean. Date nights. Long kisses. Engaging conversations about community, politics, family, what's going on the news. Opportunities to run, jump, walk, talk and be silly together. Do you simply do away with that part momentarily when your kids are little? Is it possible to reinvigorate it when they're a little older and more self sufficient?
Thankfully, our dilemma is not one that has to do with a lack of love or desire...it seems to be a lack of time, energy and stamina. I have faith that this is a phase. I simply want to make sure that it's addressed, nipped in the bud, and moved through.
Anyone out there know what I mean? Ideas? Suggestions?