We all have longings.
We're all guilty of living in the past and fantasizing about the future.
I'm at a pro at it and really should give lessons.
On a long run this morning, I found myself playing the pity party/hypothetical "what if?" game. It's a fun one...really. You start by thinking about all of the "things" that you don't have and begin dreaming about how much better life would be if you did. Insert anything into the equation...bigger house, different address, better job, more money, smaller number on the scale, shinier car, grateful children, consistent sleep, a clean house, a villa in the south of France...
And then, just to make it more delightful...you make yourself feel badly for all of the ways you contributed in the past toward not being "there" in the present. It's a freaking blast. And before you know it, you're on the couch in your underwear with a pint of Ben & Jerry's or Jack Daniels rocking back and forth staring at the wall. For the record, I've not actually done this...but it's mostly because I have kids around me all the time.
And so, at mile 5 this morning, I burst out laughing.
For some reason, I thought of my favorite scene from "Bridesmaids." You know, the 2011 flick where Kristen Wiig "Annie" (who I swear to God I want to be in another lifetime) where she finds herself playing the Maid of Honor of her best friend Maya Rudolph "Lillian." And let's just say that lots of things don't go her way.
Exhausted, depressed, at the end of her rope and literally on her couch...she gets paid a visit from the brilliant, hysterical, heroic, Melissa McCarthy "Megan." And the following scene unfolds...
It is fucking brilliant, poignant and perfect.
Whatever our ailment, at any given time, about our life...we can all attest that it feels very real and extremely personal. There's no doubt that it's intensely relative and that anyone else might think you're an asshole who's unappreciative regarding what she's been given.
But the truth of it is...sometimes, for no good fucking reason, life is a bitch...an unexplainable, can't seem to rise up and suck it up bitch. You know you're blessed and on most days you wouldn't trade much, but in this moment, you just want to feel sorry for yourself.
And I think a good snotty, heaving, ugly cry is healthy...or a big bottle of something to soothe your pain, as long as you're settled in for the night.
But you can only do it for so long.
And then, as Melissa McCarthy so aptly says, you've got to fight for your shitty life.
Because it was given to you. No one else can live it. 99% of the circumstances you find yourself in are all temporary. Tomorrow is always a new day.
And even though we are all assholes in one form or another. Most of us are hopeful assholes...so, get the monkey off your back and embrace you in all of the shitty spots you find yourself in.