Lately, I've found my inner critic coming out more than I'd like or than it should. Struggling with a myriad of short comings about myself, I decided to write a letter to me highlighting that which I should love instead of critique.
So, here it goes.
Hi. It's been sometime since we've talked...at least, in an honest and well, optimistic way. It feels like most of our conversations have been one-sided and definitely reflections of the world and not of the way that I truly feel about you.
First and foremost, Hats off to your body.
I know that you feel disgruntled by pregnancy weight and you wish that you could fit back into old clothes or feel more comfortable in your own skin. But here's what I see....a body that has birthed three beautiful, healthy, amazing little people. A face that smiles at the world and says, "I love you and want the best for you." Two arms that hold babies, dry tears, carry groceries, read story books and feed your family. A mind that is constantly going...thinking, reflecting, evaluating, and searching for the best way of life for her family, her community and her world. A heart that hopes and loves.
Secondly, your home is beautiful. Who gives a rat's ass if there are dust bunnies...cheerios on the floor...finger prints on the windows....clothes in the corners...toys shoved under beds. Your home is beautiful because it is a safe haven for those who live there and a beacon away from a tough world.
Next up...no worries on the macaroni and cheese/chicken nugget front. It's cool. Your kids don't have to have organic food always and sometimes, Kraft just tastes better than homemade. I promise you that one day, they will grow to love broccoli and asparagus, but for now, it's okay that they don't.
Your work is important. You don't dawn a business card. You haven't participated in a strategy session in years (at least not one that involved Power Point). You haven't seen a "bonus" in the form of money for sometime. And, your resume is dusty to say the least. But you have skills. You have mad skills. You can multi-task like a Mother ____, literally. You are compassionate. Capable. Brilliant. And, if and when the time comes to take off the yoga pants and put on a business suit...you will....hopefully, because you want to and not because you have to.
Knowing how long that you waited to find the right person to marry and to share this life with...it's time to enjoy it. Trust that you can laugh...cry...dance...and build together. It doesn't all have to be planned. It doesn't all have to work out. But this life that is yours is beautiful and meaningful...primarily, because the heart of it, is you.