February 8, 2024
My Dearest Sam,
Happy, Happy 19th Birthday!
Congratulations--you've officially reached the age of majority in the state of Nebraska!
How did it happen? How did you become an adult--complete with a beard, a credit card, a job, college classes, the ability to vote and to engage in the way you wish to in the world?! It's so remarkable to me.
Every time you come home from college and we talk about philosophers, the economy, relationships, career paths, extracurricular choices, money in the bank and what fosters a good life--I am blown away that I get to be your mom.
You are one of my favorite people in the world. And while I didn't think I could bear being away from you when we dropped you off at school, now, five months later, I realize how beautiful the journey of growing up truly is.
There are so many things that I love about who you are in the world. I love that the only criteria you were firm about regarding college was leaving the state of Nebraska and having an adventure somewhere else. I love that you dove head first into meeting new people, trying new courses, washing your duvet cover with regularity, and communicating with me--while simultaneously helping me to honor the boundary of that frequency.
I love that you are still so kind. Independence, freedom and a life away from home has not made you a jerk. If anything, you seem to really appreciate Omaha and the goodness that emanates from your home town.
I love that you still have such a hunger for learning and creating. Watching you dive into religious and philosophical texts that I read in undergrad coupled with taking a stab at collegiate studio art has been so amazing.
I love that you ask your sisters about student council, theater, costume design, speech club, and crocheting. I love that you engage our extended family and share stories about your experiences away, and thank them regularly for their support and encouragement.
I love that you are so gosh darn frugal. I try to give you new things and you always say, save your money, I'm just fine. You'd rather thrift, repurpose, and wait until a film comes to a streaming service before spending unnecessarily. I think you got that from your dad and not from me.
I love that you're choosing really good, interesting people to share your time with, and that you ask good questions about their families, interests, and what makes them tick.
I love that you're humble and simple and loving.
And as you keep making your way in this world, trying to figure out what job you think you'll have, or who you're gonna love, or where you should live, or what you should major in, or who to invest time in--remember that every answer you need lives inside of you. Continue to trust your gut. Believe that who you are is enough.
If there's anything I've learned in almost 50 years it is that happiness has very little to do with your street address or paycheck. It has everything to do with how comfortable you feel in your own skin when nobody's looking, who you love, and who helps to support you, and the ways you serve and lift others up in the world. And with that, there are a million possibilities for how it can all unfold.
Man, how lucky I am to be on this journey watching you from afar. Thank you for the gift of being your mom. May you know everyday, always, how much you are deeply loved.
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