Thursday, September 17, 2015

Live the Shit Out of Life

Yesterday, my very dear friend lost her very dear friend to cancer.

We've been praying for her for a long time.

She has three children the ages of my mine.

My heart is broken.

From the moment that I received the message, I've been asking myself why.  It's beyond tragic. Not one ounce of it makes sense.

She was in the prime of her life, smack dab in the middle of mothering, sharing her journey with an amazing partner, surrounded by an incredible circle of friends and now...a huge hole has been left.  This morning they woke up and she wasn't there.

I woke up, did my typical morning exercise coffee regimen and listened to Stevie Wonder before meeting my dear friend for coffee...because this is what we do.  Slowly, somehow, someway, we learn to go on.

And I have to believe that this is what they would want.

In fact, because of their early departure, they would want us to live the shit out of our lives, in every honor them not by simply existing or surviving...but by thriving and inspiring others.

Start by giving yourself permission to laugh those big awkward, guttural, feel it with every fiber of your being giggle fests,

then scream at the top of your lungs, FUUUCCCCKKKK because it just feels really, really good and sometimes, it's the only word that makes sense,

go on that trip even though you have work that needs to get done around the house or you're really tired or you're not totally caught up at the office or the money should go toward some random bill....

call your mom back and listen to her go on and on because hearing the sound of her voice and her hearing the sound of yours matters...someday, it may be the only voice you're longing to hear...

tell her that you're sorry and that you miss her and that you wish things were different...

give him a hug and say that you're proud not because of the goal he scored or the grades on the report card but just because he's here and you're here and you will always love him, no matter what...

let go of that one stupid thing you said that one time that no one can remember and has long been forgotten and show up to that one event that you're worried'll be glad you did...

find a song that you love and belt it out the car window or in the shower or better yet, naked in your kitchen...for me, it was this...this morning...

And when you remember the one you've lost, maybe too soon, know that you're still here and in some way, you owe that amazing person your willingness to live with gusto, with heart, sometimes with abandon, and always with love....

Here's to those that have left us too soon.

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