Thursday, November 13, 2014

Target Never Disappoints

Let me begin by sharing the items in my cart at the check-out lane:

  • (1) Zombie Strike Targeting Scope Clear Shot Nerf Gun
  • (1) Mega XD N-Strike Elite Nerf Gun
  • 5 million Zombie Strike and Mega N-Strike bullets
  • 1 Frozen Elsa doll
  • Heavy Whipping Cream
  • Coffee
  • Sugar
  • Flour
  • (1) Lemon Verbana Soy Destress Candle

It's 4:00 in the afternoon and my favorite midtown Target store is in desperate need of back-up cashiers, because this is what my daughters are doing...leaning into each other and through clenched teeth and shaking faces, they're screaming in operatic voices, "Let it GOOOO...LEEETTTT ITTTT GOOO...TURN AWAY and SLAM THE DOOR...I DOOONNN'TTT CARE WHAT THEY'RE GOING TO SAY...LET THE STORM RAGE ONNNNN...."

I'm quietly losing my mind trying to decide if I'm going to spike my Americano before or after I get into the car. 

And then, he pulls his cart up behind mine, assesses my stuff and says, "Wow, looks like it's one of those days, huh?"

Um, yeah.  I guess. (Girls still singing.  Sam begging for gum.)

To which he turns to my kids and says, "Hey kids, give your mom a break," smiling while he's scolding them.

No, it's good.  They're fine.  

"No need to know when enough is enough.  And sometimes, when it doesn't come from mom, it's received better."

Actually, ass wipe, my kids don't acknowledge strangers and if you're gonna take on that crusade, you'll have to hunt down every other aisle of kid in this joint.  It's the nature of the Target game.

I didn't really say that, but I just turned around and never spoke to him again while I told my kids that I loved their singing.

I know I've said it before, but I really hate it when random people interject their helpful ideas onto my children.  If my kid is running into oncoming traffic, yes, that's a different deal and much appreciated.  But if I'm hanging with annoying kid behavior in public for a short while, you can too.  We're at Target, not at a fine dining establishment.

And make no bones about it, I tell my kids to simmer down plenty, often with a few choice words...but that's my job, not anothers.

So as we were headed to the car, I snapped this shot of them, to remind myself that they're pretty awesome, even if from time to time, they annoy me and other crazy Target shoppers.

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