Wednesday, July 17, 2013

The Grass is Always Greener

Over the past couple of days, I've enjoyed sharing coffee, wine, dinner and dialogue with some amazing women. 

Throughout those conversations, the topic of "comparison" emerged time and time again.

One friend summed the entire process up beautifully..."none of us have any business comparing our insides to another person's outsides."


And yet, this is what we do.  Notoriously. 

We scroll through posts of old high school and college friends on facebook and think, stunning family, she looks uh-mazing, wow...Cabo...why don't we vacation there?  Why don't I look like that? 

And then, we make the assumptions....they're happier, more engaged, more well rounded, better name it.

And, to be fair, some of it is true.  There is always someone with more fill in the blank...wealth, aesthetic beauty, engagement in their job, their marriage, with their children. 

And in your daily life, your kids may incessantly fight and your husband may suck when it comes to picking up and putting away his shit.  You may live pay check to pay check.  You may need to lose weight.  You might yell too much.  You may be negligent when it comes to writing thank you cards or volunteering in your kids' classrooms.  You might spend too much time on your iPhone, iPad or playing a video game.  You might spend too much at Starbucks or playing golf.  And you might forget to say thank you or I love you when you should.

But you might also read "The Very Lonely Firefly" and do all of the voices or make a mean spaghetti dinner or always smile or know just when to say "Fuck it" at the appropriate time.  You might pray and hold those dear in your heart who are going through crisis or tragic circumstances.  You might mow someone's lawn or shovel someone's drive.  And maybe you, give the best hugs ever.

You are who you are. Plain and simple.  You are blessed and you are flawed.

You don't live at your neighbor's house.  Your girlfriend's marriage is not yours.  Your kids don't belong to the college friend on facebook and your job is your own.

You are blessed to have this life.  This one go around.  This chance.  Comprised of all your passion, fear, vulnerability and power.  So own it.  Steep yourself in it.

Because the truth is...the grass is always greener....but no one gets to be you and live your life for all the good and the bad. 

So the next time you're scrolling through someone's facebook photos and you see someone in Cabo and want to go, add it to your bucket list and then drop a comment that says, "You suck...wish I could have been there..."  Naw, say something like, "Looks amazing...can't wait to see it myself."

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