Thursday, September 22, 2011

There's Enough Love

The other day during Kate's music class, I was galloping around the room with Claire (our 9-month old baby) on the front carrier, singing and dancing with my four-year old. 

Out of the blue, another mama said to me, "Man, I don't know how you do it."  She has a three-year old little girl and a 16-month old little boy.  And then she said, "I knew I was done at two.  I just can't stand how hard it is to balance the needs of both of them.  I always feel like somebody's getting the shaft and in a way, you gotta admit, they kind of are."

A bit stunned and well, probably looking more than a little frazzled (Claire threw up on me earlier and I canceled my hair color appointment at the beginning of the week), I said, "hmm...never thought of it that way."

But the truth is, I had.  When we moved from a married couple to a family of three, I thought, "When will there be time for us?"  That was a fleeting thought since we got pregnant on our honeymoon...but one nonetheless.  Then, when we got pregnant again, I thought, "How will I ever love another baby as much as I love Sam?"  And yes, the thought entered my mind on the third pregnancy confirmation...but complicated by the idea that I might be cheating the first two out of quality time, attention, financial opportunity, and also wondering if I would have time/energy again for a date night or a pedicure?

Not long ago, a friend said to me, "Live your life from a place of abundance and not a lack thereof...there is always enough love."  She elaborated by saying that our hearts, our world, our friends, our family all have enough love for "come what may."  That means if you're worried about whether your friend will still remember you if a new one enters the friendship circle, don't...there's always enough love.  If from time to time, you wonder about a former love and feel guilty, don't...there's always enough love.  If you get a new co-worker/team member and worry that his talents may replace yours, don't...there's always enough love.  If your parent gets remarried, it's okay...there's always enough love.  And, if like my best friend from college, your husband is one of 17 siblings...well, there may be a limit.  (insert big smile)

Remember, that we haven't even tapped a fraction of the love that this world has to offer.  Trust in that.

1 comment:

  1. There always is.

    But, my first thought by the time I read the second paragraph... was that the mother of two must be the type who thinks she has to be her children's friend and playmate for the majority of each day. That WOULD be exhausting!
    Too many of today's parents make that mistake... instead of training their children to be independent, to entertain themselves, and to solve their own problems.
    Yes, get on the floor occasionally during the day to build with blocks or change a doll's clothes with your kids... but also teach them the confidence to build as high as they can without supervision - then be available to admire the HUGE tower!
    If, however, you're still pouring your kid's milk when they're eight years old... you've been TOO hands on!

    Balance the needs of both kids?
    Infants need almost constant attention - yes. The three-year-old should be a 'helper' by now.

    Granted I can say this because I have not yet been blessed to procreate -- but I was a child once too - and I can tell you that my mom was able to keep an immaculate home because us three kids were out of her hair for the majority of the day!! ( She also took an afternoon nap on the sofa, during which I sat on the floor and played quietly with dolls, blocks or whatever.)

    Not that I advocate for a spotless house... but if moms feel responsible for every inkling their child has ever indicated... they're going to be exhausted. And the best thing a mom can do for her children is have energy for their father at the end of the day.

    just my .02.


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