I'm not the kind of girl who walks around the locker room nude.
In fact, I rarely undress at the gym and almost never take a shower.
I run, row, stair step, take classes, lift, swim, stretch and leave.
The most space I take up is a locker and sometimes, use of the lavatory and a quick spritz of deoderant.
So, it was odd last week when I decided to take a yoga class and indulge in the steam room.
Working through a running injury and feeling stressed with my three kiddos, I decided to fully embrace my time away from home. After a challenging yoga regimen, I stripped, grabbed a towel and headed into the steam. I was the only one there and it was nice to close my eyes, tilt my head back and ponder all the crazy thoughts that consumed my being. After a few tears thinking about marathon training, I decided to lay down on the bench and take in the moment.
And then, the door opened.
I kept my eyes closed, but heard a voice say (visualize east coast), "AHHHH....It's GUORRGEOUS in here....Do you mind if I kick it up a notch?"
"Uh, no," I said...not really sure how you kick it up a notch. But after a few sprays of water, the room got really steamy...like you can't see your hand in front of you.
And so, I just kept my eyes closed and kept pondering how to let go and lean into the place I'm at in my life.
And then, I started to hear creaking and then rocking and then, yes, moaning.
And naively, I assumed that like a massage, she was simply settling into the relaxation of the moment, until the light bulb went off and it hit me. Holy shit...she's well, taking care of herself.
It was in that moment that I froze.
Sweet Mary, Joseph and Saint Jude. What the fuck? Um...how do I get out of here? And that's when I decided to count to 100, jump up, grab my towel and run into the shower. While showering off the sweat and feeling a little PTSD, I thought, "what in the hell was that? my imagination? no, no...that was, well, I don't even know."
What do you do when crazy ass, out of the blue experiences happen to you? Stand paralyzed? Run? Speak up? Confront? Laugh? Join in?
Holy Hell...my eyes are definitively wide open. Everyone has a different level of comfort at the gym. I'll have to work on mine.