I awoke like a shot in the dark at 4:12am from a dream.
It was frightening and beautiful all in the same breath.
My 7-year old son, Sam and I were in a prison cell.
There were two beds. He and I were facing one another aware that this night would be our last on earth.
We were talking about all of the things that we would do together in Heaven...dance, sing, run, ride bikes, swim, play...and all of the people that we'd be so happy to see.
It was painful. I vividly remember trying desperately not to cry or to seem alarmed or anxious...but only to be in the moment with him...grateful for our time together.
And then the guard came in and turned the lights off.
I woke up instantly scrambling to find him. Stumbling downstairs, I opened up his door to see him sawing logs...sleeping blissfully.
Turning on the coffee pot, I thought, "Am I enjoying my children or am I surviving these very needy moments of childhood? Am I seeing them as temporary gifts from God or am I feeling them as burdens?"
The truth is that it is a gift to have as much time as I do with them and before I know it, they will be in school all day, participating in activities in the afternoon, and spending time with their friends at night. And, our story book reading, puzzle making, swimming days will be limited.
Dreams. They can be powerful and thought provoking especially if you find yourself in a prison cell.
I wonder the same thing. Am I really enjoying my kids, or am I seeing them as a burden, simply managing them from day to day. I've made it a point to "stop and smell the roses" with my kiddos the last two weeks. I knew I'd be going back to work full time this week, so I wanted to make sure I savored some summertime moments with them. I find it sad that it took me going back to work to change my outlook to enjoying my children from managing them.
ReplyDeleteHit enter too soon! Reminders to cherish your time with your kids are always welcome! =).
ReplyDeleteHi Megan! Don't find it sad that you're having more time to reflect now that you're back at work full time. I find that when you're in the trenches (and my goodness, especially with twins and a little one) that there is rarely time to look up and smell the roses. Know that you are an amazing mama and that your kiddos are so blessed to have you!
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