Happy Birthday, Mom

This is my mom and today is her birthday.

She turned a very young 63.

I've written about her before.  How for example if you've never met her, you would know that she is my mother simply by the sound of her voice.   She is soft and kind and way more sugary sweet than me.  Her smile will melt you and even if you're not the "huggy" type, you'll embrace her because she instantly makes you feel wanted and loved.

She has five children and 10 grandchildren and all of them love her to pieces.  When she comes to babysit, she sets the littles off on scavenger hunts and listens while they play the trumpet or the piano or watches them "Whip" and "Nene" or paint or play American Girl dolls all while expressing how big they've gotten and how beautiful they are.

If you need anything, no matter how small or large, it is yours...with absolutely no expectation of reciprocity.  There is literally nothing that she has to have because I've literally watched her give away most of her possessions at any one given time...with the mindset that you can't take it with you.

And if you want to know the the power of elbow grease combined with the unconditional love of the heart, watch what she does for a living.  Serving as a resident liason for amazing elderly people in their final days, she teaches yoga; dances the Jitterbug; prays when they are scared; calms their family when they are weak and gives them hope as their faculties are failing.  If you've not seen her in action, I can attest that it is holy work and not for the faint of heart.

All of this combined with her physical beauty.  She makes no bones about coloring her hair, taking care of her toes, maintaining an active exercise regimen and drinking a glass of wine or two or three...whatever it takes.

And as I look at her, I know that I am blessed to be her daughter.  At the age of 40, I pray that I get many, many more birthdays to honor and celebrate with her.  Many more times to say thank you for teaching me the power of sacrifice, the meaning of hard work, the declaration of love.

If I thanked you daily, it would not be enough.

Happy Birthday, Mama...we love you...xoxo

The Staying Power of Endurance

I think I'm ready.

I'm running a 78-mile relay race this Saturday with 7 other team mates. 

The weather is forecast to be 63 and sunny, which should be optimal for running.

My portion is 12.8 miles in 3 different legs.

On the last of my training miles this morning, I started thinking about the basics.  One foot in front of the other.  Efficiency of breathing...in through the nose and mouth, out through the mouth.  The rhythm of my cadence.  Hamstrings tight. Quads heavy. Sweat dripping.  Hydration. Fuel. Doable.  All very doable.

And for me, this is my life.

Never perfect.  Always slightly off in one area or another...

Similar to when I'm running and it starts to hurt, I have to remind myself that this too shall pass.  And, with time, it does.

The problem is that I don't like to wait.  I want guarantees.  I want to know that the "wants" I have now will materialize into something meaningful, otherwise, what was the point of "wanting" for so long. 

And then, I have to remind myself that the point of waiting, the point of sacrificing, the point of enduring is that typically, all good things come in time...to those who are willing to fight the good fight, relishing the moments in between that make it worth it in the end.

So, while putting in the last of the miles and feeling the burn, I thought about this quote by Charles Bukowski...it's a long one, but stick with it, it's worth it.

“If you're going to try, go all the way. Otherwise, don't even start. This could mean losing girlfriends, wives, relatives and maybe even your mind. It could mean not eating for three or four days. It could mean freezing on a park bench. It could mean jail. It could mean derision. It could mean mockery--isolation. Isolation is the gift. All the others are a test of your endurance, of how much you really want to do it. And, you'll do it, despite rejection and the worst odds. And it will be better than anything else you can imagine. If you're going to try, go all the way. There is no other feeling like that. You will be alone with the gods, and the nights will flame with fire. You will ride life straight to perfect laughter. It's the only good fight there is.”

And sure enough, it was worth it...sun coming up, the promise of coffee in hand, training miles in the books.  The blessing of a new day.