Ode to Sam on Your 20th Birthday

February 8, 2025

My Dearest Sam,

The sun is shining brightly, the wind is blowing gently, the sky is really blue, and you are officially 20.

I stand in amazement.  No longer a teenager, no longer primarily living at home in Nebraska; you have carved out a really magnificent space at St. Olaf College in Minnesota--with kind, smart, funny friends that you host a radio program with, engage great conversation, share fabulous banter, extend generous support, and have loads of fun with. 

You've explored really cool rigorous classes that have piqued your curiosity--some of my favorites have been the enduring questions program, studio art/photography and philosophy classes as well as your business concentration that has helped me with my own small business acumen.

And now, you're waiting to see which study abroad program will have you in another country next year. 

This year, also saw you voting in your first presidential election, ushering at your first cousin's wedding, getting your wisdom teeth extracted, and traveling with a good friend maintaining childhood friendships.

And through it all, you have been Sam.  The same amazing old soul, North Star, salt of the Earth, minimalist, witty, funny, stubborn, loving, kind hearted, beautiful, generous human being.

This year, I turn 50.  And as I reflect back upon you, the person who made me a mother for the first time, I think, how did I get to be so lucky--to have a child who teaches me the things in life that really matter, who has no interest in the material and deep curiosity for an intriguing story, a funny joke, or a really good piece of music.  That when asked what he wants will say, how about a good meal and conversation?  When asked if he's afraid of what comes next says, why would I be--look at how things have turned out up to this point.  When pressed on his faith, retorts quietly that God has been good.  

So, as you embark upon this new decade, may you trust in the exploration and lean deeply into the questions believing that the answers will emerge, or maybe they won't, but we don't have to know where it will all lead to share in a good life.  Trust your internal compass.  You are a really good judge of character.  When in doubt, give it a go--trusting that you can always course correct, believing that life is for the living.  And if you need a safe space to land, I am always, always here--for a warm meal and good conversation.

Thank you for letting me be your mom and for being such a great son.  I have no words, even as I type this, to say how grateful I am for two decades of birthday celebrations with you.  You are my heart.  You are my hope.  And you have my enduring support in anything you pursue and whomever you love.

As you celebrate today with friends on campus, know that we're here at home so grateful you were born.

So much love, always,

Mom

Ode to Sam on Your 19th Birthday

February 8, 2024

My Dearest Sam,

Happy, Happy 19th Birthday!

Congratulations--you've officially reached the age of majority in the state of Nebraska!

How did it happen?  How did you become an adult--complete with a beard, a credit card, a job, college classes, the ability to vote and to engage in the way you wish to in the world?!  It's so remarkable to me.

Every time you come home from college and we talk about philosophers, the economy, relationships, career paths, extracurricular choices, money in the bank and what fosters a good life--I am blown away that I get to be your mom.

You are one of my favorite people in the world.  And while I didn't think I could bear being away from you when we dropped you off at school, now, five months later, I realize how beautiful the journey of growing up truly is.

There are so many things that I love about who you are in the world.  I love that the only criteria you were firm about regarding college was leaving the state of Nebraska and having an adventure somewhere else.  I love that you dove head first into meeting new people, trying new courses, washing your duvet cover with regularity, and communicating with me--while simultaneously helping me to honor the boundary of that frequency.

I love that you are still so kind.  Independence, freedom and a life away from home has not made you a jerk.  If anything, you seem to really appreciate Omaha and the goodness that emanates from your home town.

I love that you still have such a hunger for learning and creating.  Watching you dive into religious and philosophical texts that I read in undergrad coupled with taking a stab at collegiate studio art has been so amazing.  

I love that you ask your sisters about student council, theater, costume design, speech club, and crocheting.  I love that you engage our extended family and share stories about your experiences away, and thank them regularly for their support and encouragement.

I love that you are so gosh darn frugal.  I try to give you new things and you always say, save your money, I'm just fine.  You'd rather thrift, repurpose, and wait until a film comes to a streaming service before spending unnecessarily.   I think you got that from your dad and not from me.

I love that you're choosing really good, interesting people to share your time with, and that you ask good questions about their families, interests, and what makes them tick.

I love that you're humble and simple and loving.

And as you keep making your way in this world, trying to figure out what job you think you'll have, or who you're gonna love, or where you should live, or what you should major in, or who to invest time in--remember that every answer you need lives inside of you.  Continue to trust your gut.  Believe that who you are is enough.

If there's anything I've learned in almost 50 years it is that happiness has very little to do with your street address or paycheck.  It has everything to do with how comfortable you feel in your own skin when nobody's looking, who you love, and who helps to support you, and the ways you serve and lift others up in the world.  And with that, there are a million possibilities for how it can all unfold.

Man, how lucky I am to be on this journey watching you from afar.  Thank you for the gift of being your mom.  May you know everyday, always, how much you are deeply loved.

 I love you, Mom