Admittedly, this will probably not be a post of interest for men, unless you want to understand women better.
I've never met a woman, who loved being on her period.
The only part that is consoling for me, right now, is that I'm not pregnant. Currently, my womb is not open for business.
But let's talk about this "not talked about" subject. I really think that the menstrual cycle is God's punishment to women for not being pregnant or nursing....it's the only time that you're free from the bloody curse.
Otherwise, you're marking the calendar for some semblance of organization and preparedness, because yes, it sucks to be caught with your pants down and no tampon in sight.
It also sucks to have to worry about carrying tampons everywhere you go for 3, 5, 7 days depending upon the length of your curse. And, knowing that you have to modify your wardrobe by wearing the ugliest granny pants in the back of your drawers and no light colored pants, shorts, or skirts because it's a messy, leaky process.
Not to mention the emotional, hormonal, irritable part of the deal which can start a week or more ahead of the cycle and continue throughout. You're a bitch, Irrational. Pissed. Off. Nothing goes your way and everyone is the enemy especially, your husband and kids. And the worst part is that you can not control this shit. Midol Schmidol. This is witchcraft, black magic, voodoo shit that you are cursed with.
And, Heaven help the poor soul who evenly remotely alludes to the fact that you may be having your monthly visit because that just sends most women into a conniption fit. We already feel out of control. We don't want it rubbed in our face.
So, for those of you sons and husbands who want half of the month to be sane, you should just start budgeting now for a spa get away for those women in your life that you love. No need to try to understand the intricacies of the menstrual cycle....just remove her from your lives. Everyone will be happier and life will be smooth and enjoyable. Because God knows, the period is pesky.
Thursday, April 12, 2012
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Love & Solitude at the Cabin
After the fullness of the Easter holiday, my brood and I loaded up the Honda and drove to the cabin.
Our friends invited us to join them and several other families to enjoy a gorgeous lake front home while our kiddos are on spring break. Everyone was in Heaven.
There were plenty of bedrooms and bathrooms for everyone with huge areas to gather and 100+ acres in the middle of nowhere to enjoy.
My husband took the kids fishing on a kayak/canoe. We had gooey fingered smores over a bonfire. I tested the limits of my fears while doing a Tarzan rope jump off of a ladder and into the wilderness (no obscenities were uttered, I'm proud to say). My best friend and I went for a long walk up and down gravel roads. The big kids went for rides on the four wheeler. And lots of yummy meals were shared by all.
It's so important to get away. It's so soothing to sit by the lake and to watch the water, hear the frogs, see the geese, and catch a fish. It's so good for the soul to connect for hours with friends and to remind yourself of what it feels like to be away from the extraneous silliness that often fills our lives.
I'm so grateful for the generosity of friends and I'm so aware of the beauty that surrounds me...I'm just sad that we don't slow down more to appreciate it.
Our friends invited us to join them and several other families to enjoy a gorgeous lake front home while our kiddos are on spring break. Everyone was in Heaven.
There were plenty of bedrooms and bathrooms for everyone with huge areas to gather and 100+ acres in the middle of nowhere to enjoy.
My husband took the kids fishing on a kayak/canoe. We had gooey fingered smores over a bonfire. I tested the limits of my fears while doing a Tarzan rope jump off of a ladder and into the wilderness (no obscenities were uttered, I'm proud to say). My best friend and I went for a long walk up and down gravel roads. The big kids went for rides on the four wheeler. And lots of yummy meals were shared by all.
It's so important to get away. It's so soothing to sit by the lake and to watch the water, hear the frogs, see the geese, and catch a fish. It's so good for the soul to connect for hours with friends and to remind yourself of what it feels like to be away from the extraneous silliness that often fills our lives.
I'm so grateful for the generosity of friends and I'm so aware of the beauty that surrounds me...I'm just sad that we don't slow down more to appreciate it.
Sunday, April 8, 2012
I Don't Need You
We had an amazing, beautiful, insane, off-the-charts busy, blessed, colorful, exhausting weekend.
My parents came into town from Dallas. We celebrated my nephew's third birthday. We hunted for eggs three times. The Easter Bunny came to our home. We made it through mass. We hosted meals and brought meals to other family member's homes. And by 4:30pm this afternoon, my four-year old daughter, Kate had reached her breaking point.
Her older brother and cousin were playing soccer in the backyard while the adults were cheering them on and the baby was happily swinging. Throughout this time, Kate was insistent on playing "Red Light, Green Light," but no one else seemed to be interested. After her final pout, a melodramatic walk-off, and the very loud words, "I DON'T NEED YOU!" screamed out of her mouth to her family and to her mother, a soccer ball landed squarely in the center of her forehead and she lost it.
After everyone left, we sat over Easter candy and talked. I asked if she really meant what she said. And through chocolate and jelly beans she muttered, "no...I love you."
But isn't this how we feel...when we're done dealing...exhausted...beyond our limitations. We don't want to be around anyone and we don't want anyone to get in our way.
That's where I'm at now. The kids are in bed. The dishes are done. The party platters are put away. I'm icing my legs and I just don't want to be needed by a thing in this world. And yet, I want to be needed and loved by my family more than I can imagine. Love...it's what makes the world go around, even when you've been loved to the gills on an Easter holiday.
My parents came into town from Dallas. We celebrated my nephew's third birthday. We hunted for eggs three times. The Easter Bunny came to our home. We made it through mass. We hosted meals and brought meals to other family member's homes. And by 4:30pm this afternoon, my four-year old daughter, Kate had reached her breaking point.
Her older brother and cousin were playing soccer in the backyard while the adults were cheering them on and the baby was happily swinging. Throughout this time, Kate was insistent on playing "Red Light, Green Light," but no one else seemed to be interested. After her final pout, a melodramatic walk-off, and the very loud words, "I DON'T NEED YOU!" screamed out of her mouth to her family and to her mother, a soccer ball landed squarely in the center of her forehead and she lost it.
After everyone left, we sat over Easter candy and talked. I asked if she really meant what she said. And through chocolate and jelly beans she muttered, "no...I love you."
But isn't this how we feel...when we're done dealing...exhausted...beyond our limitations. We don't want to be around anyone and we don't want anyone to get in our way.
That's where I'm at now. The kids are in bed. The dishes are done. The party platters are put away. I'm icing my legs and I just don't want to be needed by a thing in this world. And yet, I want to be needed and loved by my family more than I can imagine. Love...it's what makes the world go around, even when you've been loved to the gills on an Easter holiday.
Friday, April 6, 2012
Free Falling
The other day I took my kids on a really long bike ride.
They had to get their ya-yas out. It was the start of spring break and already I could tell that Sam and Kate needed an energy release.
For those of you who don't live in Omaha, we have a fabulous park in midtown called Memorial with a huge hill that takes you up to flights of stairs and a beautiful wartime memorial. So, with the baby on the front carrier, I forced my 7 and 4-year olds to bike up the hill pedal by excruciating pedal. Consequently, when we got to the top, they wanted to go down.
I knew that the older was good to go. He was proficient with the brakes, had a helmet on, and so I sent him sailing. The younger, well, she's a bird of another color. She started slowly...but as we all know, once you gain momentum, there's nothing you can do, but go for it. And like a bird, she started to free fall down the hill uncontrollably. But miraculously, landed on her bike upright. She was ecstatic. Thrilled that she'd conquered the hill both up and down.
I looked at her and cringed as she made her way certain that she'd eat the concrete and dawn a beautiful purple shiner right before my folks came into town for the Easter holiday. I pictured her losing a tooth or breaking an arm. But she didn't. And the best part was the entire excursion was done by herself. And so the accomplishment was thrilling.
I saw me in her...free falling. Trying to make the best of where I'm at in my life. Scared to go a little deeper. Trying not to fall off the bike, but knowing that I'll have to risk it if I want the good stuff.
Free falling is a crazy deal. You can go either way. You can biff or you can land up right. Regardless, at the end, you know you're alive.
They had to get their ya-yas out. It was the start of spring break and already I could tell that Sam and Kate needed an energy release.
For those of you who don't live in Omaha, we have a fabulous park in midtown called Memorial with a huge hill that takes you up to flights of stairs and a beautiful wartime memorial. So, with the baby on the front carrier, I forced my 7 and 4-year olds to bike up the hill pedal by excruciating pedal. Consequently, when we got to the top, they wanted to go down.
I knew that the older was good to go. He was proficient with the brakes, had a helmet on, and so I sent him sailing. The younger, well, she's a bird of another color. She started slowly...but as we all know, once you gain momentum, there's nothing you can do, but go for it. And like a bird, she started to free fall down the hill uncontrollably. But miraculously, landed on her bike upright. She was ecstatic. Thrilled that she'd conquered the hill both up and down.
I looked at her and cringed as she made her way certain that she'd eat the concrete and dawn a beautiful purple shiner right before my folks came into town for the Easter holiday. I pictured her losing a tooth or breaking an arm. But she didn't. And the best part was the entire excursion was done by herself. And so the accomplishment was thrilling.
I saw me in her...free falling. Trying to make the best of where I'm at in my life. Scared to go a little deeper. Trying not to fall off the bike, but knowing that I'll have to risk it if I want the good stuff.
Free falling is a crazy deal. You can go either way. You can biff or you can land up right. Regardless, at the end, you know you're alive.
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Growing Your Soul
You know that ache you get when you recognize that you've been focusing on the wrong things for too long?
Like the minutia of work, the laundry, the kids' activities, your manicured lawn...and then in one moment you realize that you've been spending a lot of time and energy on superficial shit that really doesn't matter.
Except that everyone else seems to be caring equally as much, so you're sort of a schmuck if you don't...right?
It's like we cultivate the schizophrenic behavior in each other. We see our neighbors mowing, edging, mulching, planting, 2,000 yard waste bags at the curb...we watch our co-workers scheduling meeting after meeting to 'fine tune' details on a project that really is auto piloting itself...and we listen to others as they stress about family coming into town for the Easter holiday, so we crank it up into over drive by washing windows and dusting base boards.
And before we know it...that sweet place that defines who we are, that nurtures us, that when cultivated lets us shine...becomes dull and muted. And we look pretty on the outside, but we're hollowed out on the inside.
What fuels your passion for life? What charges your batteries? What makes you feel alive? What gives you strength and makes you feel vibrant?
Whatever that is...do more of it...now. The windows and the lawn can wait. But your soul won't wait forever.
Like the minutia of work, the laundry, the kids' activities, your manicured lawn...and then in one moment you realize that you've been spending a lot of time and energy on superficial shit that really doesn't matter.
Except that everyone else seems to be caring equally as much, so you're sort of a schmuck if you don't...right?
It's like we cultivate the schizophrenic behavior in each other. We see our neighbors mowing, edging, mulching, planting, 2,000 yard waste bags at the curb...we watch our co-workers scheduling meeting after meeting to 'fine tune' details on a project that really is auto piloting itself...and we listen to others as they stress about family coming into town for the Easter holiday, so we crank it up into over drive by washing windows and dusting base boards.
And before we know it...that sweet place that defines who we are, that nurtures us, that when cultivated lets us shine...becomes dull and muted. And we look pretty on the outside, but we're hollowed out on the inside.
What fuels your passion for life? What charges your batteries? What makes you feel alive? What gives you strength and makes you feel vibrant?
Whatever that is...do more of it...now. The windows and the lawn can wait. But your soul won't wait forever.
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
Forks in the Road
It's crazy, isn't it?
When you look back over your life at the many crossroads...forks in the road...opportunities to go one way versus another.
Whether it's a job that you turned down...a relationship that you started or ended....a city that you relocated in or decided not to....a friendship that you forged or gradually let fall by the way side....a faith that you embraced or rejected....ultimately, choices...decisions that you made that have determined where you are today.
I firmly believe that all things happen in life for a reason and that most of the time, in spite of ourselves, even when we're purposefully trying to sabotage our own progress...we get there, one way or another....and it all happens in the perfect season of our lives.
My husband was engaged before me. He called off the engagement and broke the heart of his fiancee as well as her families. But it was the right decision.
My undergraduate internship turned into a job offer and a chance to stay in the windy city post college, but I turned it down for a secretarial job in Omaha and a chance to see if a long-term relationship would morph into marriage. It did not. But at the time, it felt like the right decision.
Five years ago, I said goodbye to a really good paying job with a bonus, benefits, and a fantastic mentor to stay at home with my children. Aside from marrying my husband, it was the best decision I've ever made.
Life is full of forks. And because we're all human, we often look back and wonder, "what would have happened if I'd have _____." The problem is, you'll never know because you're here where you're supposed to be. The journey is full of opportunities for growth and change. Every day brings multiple chances to say yes to this and no to that.
The most important gift is to live without regret...to recognize that you made the best decision with what you knew then and to trust that this moment is perfect for you, always.
When you look back over your life at the many crossroads...forks in the road...opportunities to go one way versus another.
Whether it's a job that you turned down...a relationship that you started or ended....a city that you relocated in or decided not to....a friendship that you forged or gradually let fall by the way side....a faith that you embraced or rejected....ultimately, choices...decisions that you made that have determined where you are today.
I firmly believe that all things happen in life for a reason and that most of the time, in spite of ourselves, even when we're purposefully trying to sabotage our own progress...we get there, one way or another....and it all happens in the perfect season of our lives.
My husband was engaged before me. He called off the engagement and broke the heart of his fiancee as well as her families. But it was the right decision.
My undergraduate internship turned into a job offer and a chance to stay in the windy city post college, but I turned it down for a secretarial job in Omaha and a chance to see if a long-term relationship would morph into marriage. It did not. But at the time, it felt like the right decision.
Five years ago, I said goodbye to a really good paying job with a bonus, benefits, and a fantastic mentor to stay at home with my children. Aside from marrying my husband, it was the best decision I've ever made.
Life is full of forks. And because we're all human, we often look back and wonder, "what would have happened if I'd have _____." The problem is, you'll never know because you're here where you're supposed to be. The journey is full of opportunities for growth and change. Every day brings multiple chances to say yes to this and no to that.
The most important gift is to live without regret...to recognize that you made the best decision with what you knew then and to trust that this moment is perfect for you, always.
Sunday, April 1, 2012
Commit or Get Out
"but I REALLY wanted it, mama, " my seven-year old son, Sam lamented.
And it wasn't over a piece of candy or the iPad. It was over something bigger and more important. His eyes were full of tears and his heart was breaking. And, I had to tell him that sometimes life is unfair, but the only way you know you're truly living is if you commit...regardless of the result.
I know his pain. I feel like a broken record wanting to run a race...wanting to recover from an injury immediately that let's be honest, just takes time.
So while I've been wallowing and consoling my son, I've realized that life is about committing. All in...all the time...or get the fuck out. Because, what's the point of sticking a toe in and living superficially. You won't get the marrow out of anything. Your relationships will be shallow. Your rewards will be menial. Your spirit will be sullied. And you'll never really know your full potential.
I'm not advocating to completely throw caution to the wind or that taking calculated risks is for pansies...well, maybe a little...but mostly, what I'm saying is that you live once. You don't know what tomorrow will bring. You have absolutely nothing to lose. You have a heart for a reason. When it's pounding and telling you to go for it, that's your intuition saying, JUMP, BOLT, DRIVE, DO IT!
The worst thing that can happen is that your ego will be bruised. Your pride may be rejected. But the reward of knowing that you went for it. That you tried. That you put yourself out there. That you believed enough in yourself to say, "To hell with fear. I am inhabiting all of me and today I choose strength."
So, the lesson is...I'm proud of my kid. He's a risk taker. He's cool as shit. I'm proud of the running I've done and I'm not giving up on him or me. And you shouldn't either. Commit or Get Out.
And it wasn't over a piece of candy or the iPad. It was over something bigger and more important. His eyes were full of tears and his heart was breaking. And, I had to tell him that sometimes life is unfair, but the only way you know you're truly living is if you commit...regardless of the result.
I know his pain. I feel like a broken record wanting to run a race...wanting to recover from an injury immediately that let's be honest, just takes time.
So while I've been wallowing and consoling my son, I've realized that life is about committing. All in...all the time...or get the fuck out. Because, what's the point of sticking a toe in and living superficially. You won't get the marrow out of anything. Your relationships will be shallow. Your rewards will be menial. Your spirit will be sullied. And you'll never really know your full potential.
I'm not advocating to completely throw caution to the wind or that taking calculated risks is for pansies...well, maybe a little...but mostly, what I'm saying is that you live once. You don't know what tomorrow will bring. You have absolutely nothing to lose. You have a heart for a reason. When it's pounding and telling you to go for it, that's your intuition saying, JUMP, BOLT, DRIVE, DO IT!
The worst thing that can happen is that your ego will be bruised. Your pride may be rejected. But the reward of knowing that you went for it. That you tried. That you put yourself out there. That you believed enough in yourself to say, "To hell with fear. I am inhabiting all of me and today I choose strength."
So, the lesson is...I'm proud of my kid. He's a risk taker. He's cool as shit. I'm proud of the running I've done and I'm not giving up on him or me. And you shouldn't either. Commit or Get Out.
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