When it comes from Love...

We gather.

Sometimes over a glass of wine or a flute of champagne. 

Sometimes over a piping hot cup of coffee or a mug of tea.

Sometimes its an impromptu emergency.  One of us has to get out of the house and needs to see our faces and hear our voices.

Other times, it's planned and we all climb in the car and take a trip.

We say, "Fuck," a lot. 

Collectively, we have 17 children between us and well, when it's inappropriate to curse in front of the littles....we yearn to unleash the fury of the four-letter word with our inner circle of girlfriends.

We cry when it's hard and someone is facing something that is uncertain, unfair, or just plain hurts.

But mostly, we laugh especially when "J" graces us with her colorful dialogue....reminding us that most of the time, it's okay to "Focker Out, Bitches."

And so it went last night.  Someone's husband was out of town, so we rallied the troops, the truffles, the red wine, and the morale.

And that's when I learned a powerful lesson....that I just keep ruminating on. 

I've always had this thing I do.  I suppose like a good Catholic, I feel that if overall, I'm doing the right thing for the good of my family and friends that in general, good things will come my way.  Conversely, I harbor irrational fear that if I slip up and don't do the right thing that I'm doomed to have something tragic come down the pike.

Expressing this crazy philosophy with my besties, one friend said, "Nothing bad comes when decisions/choices are made from a place of love."  And it's hard to focus on the negative hypothetical, when even in the midst of semi-regret, you keep your eye on gratitude and the multiple blessings that abound in your life.

And so, at the gym this morning, I thought....it's time to start making decisions that emanate from love and not fear.  Because in the end, we have control over so little and ultimately, bad things will happen regardless of our actions...so, focusing our choices from a place of warmth, kindness, and love can only be a good thing....regardless of the outcome.

Post lots of chocolate noshing and champagne guzzling, I realized on my late night drive home that I am extraordinarily blessed to call these girls friends.  Every last fucking one of them.

Forks in the Road

It's crazy, isn't it?

When you look back over your life at the many crossroads...forks in the road...opportunities to go one way versus another.

Whether it's a job that you turned down...a relationship that you started or ended....a city that you relocated in or decided not to....a friendship that you forged or gradually let fall by the way side....a faith that you embraced or rejected....ultimately, choices...decisions that you made that have determined where you are today.

I firmly believe that all things happen in life for a reason and that most of the time, in spite of ourselves, even when we're purposefully trying to sabotage our own progress...we get there, one way or another....and it all happens in the perfect season of our lives.

My husband was engaged before me.  He called off the engagement and broke the heart of his fiancee as well as her families.  But it was the right decision.

My undergraduate internship turned into a job offer and a chance to stay in the windy city post college, but I turned it down for a secretarial job in Omaha and a chance to see if a long-term relationship would morph into marriage.  It did not.  But at the time, it felt like the right decision.

Five years ago, I said goodbye to a really good paying job with a bonus, benefits, and a fantastic mentor to stay at home with my children.  Aside from marrying my husband, it was the best decision I've ever made.

Life is full of forks.  And because we're all human, we often look back and wonder, "what would have happened if I'd have _____."  The problem is, you'll never know because you're here where you're supposed to be.  The journey is full of opportunities for growth and change.  Every day brings multiple chances to say yes to this and no to that. 

The most important gift is to live without regret...to recognize that you made the best decision with what you knew then and to trust that this moment is perfect for you, always.