Ode to Kate on Your 19th Birthday

July 8, 2026

My Dearest Kate,

Happy, Happy 19th Birthday!  

Let me begin by saying--I love you. I love you. I love you and that I have so much gratitude for the gift of having a front row seat to your journey.  

This past year, you began college and Dad and I were gobsmacked and so proud to be at your Wesleyan productions--from set design, costume construction, stage management to props, you dove deeply into the world of theater.  Seeing you in your element being mentored by instructors who have helped you grow your skills and strengthen your confidence is remarkable.  And even as I write this, you're feverishly working on a Cosplay costume that you built from scratch--designing the pattern, sewing complex components (French seams are pretty cool) and culminating the ensemble for competition next week. 

It's also been your first time living away from home and while I thought I wouldn't survive it, turns out that I can and you really are an expert in your own life--managing hard classes, navigating a roommate, deciding which parts of the social scene you like and don't and how to make peace with a small room and shitty laundry machines.

It was also so much fun to see you in Europe as you experienced West End theater productions, vintage shops, delicious coffee and began dreaming about possible study abroad and grad school opportunities.

I love that you are passionate about the things you're passionate about and that you meticulously take the time to do those things right--whether in relationships, academics, your job, or your craft--you don't settle and I am so inspired by that.

Last week, Dad and I took you to Chicago to celebrate your birthday.  As the middle child, it was the first time we ever had that much concentrated time with just you.  Between a concert, an afternoon at the beach, a play, meals, coffee and 16-hours of drive time, we got to share good questions and hear what really matters to you.  I don't think I'll ever forget that.

As you embark upon the last year of your teens, remember that you are enough--all of you. Continue to trust in your intuition. Use your instincts to jump or course correct. Don't be afraid to wander down a new path. Keep reflecting on the people and experiences that make you feel alive. Recognize that feeling down or unsure or unsteady or scared is all part of it and that you're right where you're supposed to be. And when you feel wobbly, please know that on your terms, I'm here to listen, to laugh/scream with you, to get coffee with you, to plan a way through and to remind you that you're not alone.

There's so much good and beauty in the world and you are definitively part of that. And so, I leave you with the blessing that we've given to you since Kindergarten, "May God bless your mind so you can learn, your ears to be a good listener, your mouth to speak kind words and your heart to feel love."

I love you so, so much,

Mom

Ode to Kate on Your 18th Birthday

July 8, 2025

My Dearest Kate,

Happy, Happy 18th Birthday!

I have so much gratitude for all of the milestones you've experienced this past year and all of the joy we've had watching you grow.

From the time you were little, you were two parts deep interest and extraordinary creativity.

You were constantly on the look out for what you could repurpose, stitch, draw, build and create.  You were deeply interested in reading about complex characters in magical story books and then deciding how you could make them come to life through 3-D printing, sewing, costuming and dreaming.  There hasn't been a season of your life when you haven't been bringing beauty, awe, and imagination into the world--it's been a through line for as long as I can remember.

In your senior year at Duchesne, you had the wonderful opportunity to create costumes for Sleepy Hollow and Seusical the Musical.  And through the Kent Bellows program, you designed, sewed, modeled and won student designer at Omaha Fashion Week.

 

And when you're not designing and sewing, you're trying to see as many productions as possible.  Hades Town was so much fun to share with Claire.

Life this past year was full applying to colleges, taking campus visits, learning about the selection process, and ultimately deciding on a really beautiful fit for you--a BFA in Theater Tech and Design and double major in Spanish at Nebraska Wesleyan--which we are selfishly grateful for the proximity so that we can see all eight main stage performances a year-hopefully many of which you'll be costuming for.

And as we watched you celebrate your final prom, scholarships, Claire's Confirmation (thank you for being her sponsor), Claire's 8th grade graduation and your high school graduation, dad and I realize that time flies when you're loving living life with your children.

And the hardest part is hoping that we've told you as much as possible how much we love you and how we're always rooting for your passions and pursuits.

In a few short weeks (although I'm hoping to sink deeply into them for as long as I can), we'll be moving you into your dorm.  We've got the linens, fridge, shower caddy, toiletries, and of course espresso maker.  And the truth is most days, I can't imagine it. I will miss you so much.  But I know that you are ready for this new journey and this wild, brave, beautiful adventure.

So, as you embark upon this year, with a new campus home, a roommate, professors, friends and a job--please remember this--you are remarkable.  There has never been another human being like you. And while it can feel tempting to forget the strength of your roots,  the dance is to explore, to question, to wander and to wonder but always to know that you're never alone--and that likely what you thought was best, right, or most true for you is what you first felt in your gut before you second guessed it.

Trust in yourself.  You have a deep wisdom and a strong North Star.  You have inside of you all that you need to make a difference in the world and to share your gifts with those you encounter.  Don't be afraid to show them who you are and to be open to learning different perspectives, ideas, and to challenge and be challenged.  This is what college is for.  These are the breeding grounds for dialogue, communion, hope and connection.

And along the way, if you feel unsure, tired, or in need of a reminder, I'm here, available on your terms, always.  I can listen.  I can give you my hug, my renewed hope, my receptacle of "what the fuck's/are you kidding me's," and my encouragement to try again.  

So, when you wonder if it's going to be okay or you think you're a little too stretched or are really over the moon, wildly ecstatic--I'm there and along with Dad, Sam, and Claire, we are holding you up, trusting in the promise of you, Cat-Uh-Lone-A...go make something beautiful!

All my love, Mom

Ode to Kate on Your 17th Birthday

 July 8, 2024

My Dearest Kate:

Happy, Happy 17th Birthday!

You woke up this morning, and while the world changed for me (how can you really be 17?!!), you ate a bagel, grabbed your clothes, and headed out the door to your job as a barista.  Time to make the doughnuts.

You have always been a person that gets the job done-quietly, intentionally and consistently.

This past year has been such a marvel to watch your choices.  You made the hard but good decision to release dance to make time for costume design for Duchesne's productions of Annie and a Midsummer Nights Dream along with Kent Bellow's mentorship program.  Seeing your creations come to life in fashion, Cosplay, 3-D art, painting, embroidery, and even in Madrid as you created ceramic art is so inspiring.

Speaking of Spain, it was so much fun when you came home to listen to your stories of castles, museums, food, fashion, art, history....and...to receive all of your texts in Spanish.  It seems as though this will be the first of many stamps on your passport and that you found the hunger to see more of the world.

And, of course, this has been an amazingly liberating year of driving--to school, to work, to have dinner with friends, to grab late night Sonic and to feel the freedom of going where you want to go with the ability to do so.  Thank you for carpooling your little sister around, grabbing stuff for us at the grocery store and for taking your time on the road. 

And now, here we are, inches away from senior year.  A final year at Duchesne with lots of hard, good classes, a final semester to build your portfolio, the last musical and play costume curations, and of course, big decisions about where to apply to college and what makes good sense.  And, as you embark upon all of this, and the seemingly endless conversations we've had as a family about them, I want you to remember a few things...you've always been a maker...

And a reader...

And a dancer...

And a sewer...

And because all of these amazing parts are inside of you, you don't have to worry about losing them or accentuating one over the other.  Instead, trust that you will always be a maker--no matter what you study in college, or where you go, or who you meet, or which classes you take, or what your degree says.  You were born to make beauty.

So, as we do this senior year/college thing together, I promise to stand by your side, and love you as it all unfolds--no matter how it unfolds.  And when you're unsure, I'll be here with really good coffee and a bear hug--because in the end, it's not what you major in, what your business card says, the street you live on, or the amount of money you make-it's about how you treat others, the ways you remain curious and interested in the world, and the opportunities you take, imperfectly, to manifest your joy, your color, your idea, your hope into the world.  And knowing that, I'm not worried one bit. 

You are the greatest gift, and our family is so blessed to have your humor, your wit, your love, and your light.  Keep shining in your weird, unique, beautiful, only you way, and we'll keep basking in the beauty.

All my love, always,

Mom