A Chance Shit Encounter at Target

Admittedly, I was tired.

And spent and probably stretched a little thin.

And well, having it out with a random person in the check out line at Target is maybe not the most productive way to spend a morning,

But damn it.  When did people think that it was okay to get in your business?

"She's really cute.  She looks just like you."

"Aw, thank you.  She's our third and definitely the feistiest one of the bunch." Cue in Claire throwing shit from the cart onto the conveyor belt, including a dozen eggs.

"You stay home with them?"  She says dressed to the nines holding a box of tampons and a pack of gum.

"I do. Do you see any syrup or chocolate milk on me?  I usually can't escape the house without wearing some part of their meal."  I say laughing as the cashier greets me.

"No, you look like you just came back from the gym.  That must be nice to do that during the day."

Feeling a little put off, "Nope.  I head out at 5am for a run and get back before the cows come home. Just rarely get a chance to change."

"Yeah...my friend stays at home with hers.  I always tell her that it must be a sweet deal to not have to get out of your sweat pants and have permission to eat the kids' macaroni and cheese."  She retorts chuckling.

Yeah...it's fucking Disneyland.  Every. Minute.  God damn roller coaster ride of joy....I think and then blurt out, "That's funny.  I was just gonna compliment you on your shoes.  I was thinking of getting a pair similar to them, but then we sliced our income in half."

I have no idea why certain comments send me into a tail spin.  Whether you work outside of the home, inside, both, or not at all....the whole life deal with kids is a crazy ass roller coaster ride. 

When you're wearing a suit, you just want to wear yoga pants. And when you're wearing sweats, you yearn to dress up.  When you see your kids at the end of the day, you wish you could watch movies in your pjs and hang out all the time.  When you spend hour after hour with them, you just want a break.

The times I feel most put off are when I'm tired.  When I'm wiped.  And I should just know better.  Plus, if she's holding a box of tampons and expecting a visit...she probably should have known better too.

Creatures of Impatience

We're all creatures of impatience.

We want what we want now.  It's just how we're made. 

So at the gym this morning, I turned to my girlfriend and said, "It's gonna happen, right?"  And she turned to me and spoke the truth, "If you stay the course, absolutely.  It's just a painfully slow process."  And, she's right.

For most anything in life, we just have to be willing to put the time in and to wait.  Typically its when we decide that we want to outrun the clock that we get messy.  We cut corners.  The quality of our work suffers. 

I know that I'll reap what I sow.  I'm just trying to figure out how to enjoy the journey, particularly when I can so clearly see the goal.  I know what she looks like.  I know what she feels like.  I know who she is.

And, so I'll continue to hearken back to the prayer I say each morning as the alarm goes off at 4:30am...please give me the strength to be patient and to believe in me.