Ode to Sam on Your 15th Birthday

February 8, 2020

My Dearest Sam,

Happy, Happy, Happy 15th Birthday!

In a few short hours, dad and I will collect you from your Freshman Retreat.  You've spent the past few days immersed in a tradition at Prep that generations have shared, and men have looked back at as transformational and connective.  We can think of no better way to begin the journey into your 15th year than connected to the Holy Spirit and your peers.

I'm not certain how to capture what an extraordinary past year this has been for you as a young man.  So much has transpired...and growth in every way has been the fruit.

You were confirmed at Saint Margaret Mary's...

 

After 9-years of education, you graduated from SMM...

You made the trek to Washington, D.C. with your class mates...

You spent the summer having fun with friends at Kitaki, while also learning the value of manual labor, work ethic, and brutal hours detasseling corn...

You received a scholarship to attend Creighton Prep High School, and have blown us out of the water with the effort and commitment you've made to honors classes and a course load you've excelled at.

You experienced your first Homecoming, Mother/Son and Father/Son masses, and learned how to tie a tie!

But if I had to pick one of the spaces that has been awe-inspiring, it was watching you take on the commitment and experience of running your own race on the Cross Country team.  Having never been a runner, it was extraordinary to witness your choice to run miles daily with your team mates, and to cheer you on at the races.  You had no desire to win a medal.  You just wanted to see how far you could go, and to cross the finish line.  You were humble, consistent, and open to the experience.  And as a fellow runner, I was never more grateful than when you cheered and ran with me as I completed a half marathon.  Knowing that you know what it feels like to push through the discomfort, I was grateful that we have a new found connection.

And meanwhile, you're deep in the throws of finishing your experience as a Boy Scout...planning your Eagle Scout project, and finalizing all of these years of camping, merit badge earning, and life skill attending.  One of my favorite memories was the final hike/camping trip you took with dad.

We have so many memories this past year of traveling and celebrating as a family...so many fights, so many words, so many I'm sorry's, so many hopes, so many silly jokes/stories/free-falls...

And in variably, because you are the oldest, and now officially, the tallest in our family, you have carried the burden of our learning.  We have placed immense expectation and hope on your ability to fully actualize your potential, to be kind to those you meet, to not subscribe to behavior that demeans another or makes them feel like they don't have a place in the group or an invite to the party.  And, we know that we ask a lot of you.

But man, Sam...you are the real deal in every way.  You are brilliant and kind and good-spirited.  You have empathy and a conscience that says I'm not going to go there, because in the end, it's just not right.  You are gracious and value humility.  You are a self-professed minimalist and can't understand why people need to have/buy so many things.  In the end, you believe that as long as we have each other, we have everything we need.

As we stare down this new 15th year, you'll become even more independent--getting your Learner's permit, taking Driver's Ed, hanging out with your buddies, starting up your lawn mowing business, traveling to camps, and in general being away from home will be more of the norm than being with us.  And, when I'm being honest, that makes me sad...but also happy for you.  You deserve every goodness that God has in store for you...today, and every day.

So, as we celebrate you--know that we could not possibly love you more...or be more proud and inspired by the young man you are.  You make us so honored to call you son.

All our love,

Mom and Dad

Ode to Claire on Your 7th Birthday

Dear Claire,

I walked into your bedroom at 7am singing, "Happy Birthday to you...Happy Birthday to you!"

Nestled under your covers, you murmured, "Did you see Holly?  Do you think she remembered that it's my birthday?"

Sure enough, Holly was situated on the piano, holding a number seven birthday candle and instantly, all was right with the world.

This is what happens when you have a birthday butted up to Christmas, you ask about your elf on the shelf.

***

Feisty, precocious, tenacious, determined, exhausting, irritable, creative...lover of all things big and loud, hot and cold...you are my hard to handle child.  You know what you want, when you want it and sometimes, all I want is for you to be quiet and just to do as I say.  But that doesn't sit right with you.  You won't be shushed or silenced.  Your voice matters and you're not afraid to make your intentions known.

Singing, as your piano teacher says, perfectly on pitch--you are a force in motion...always singing, dancing, swaying, skipping, strumming, striking, drawing, painting, and dreaming.  The world is your oyster and you see it as a space to bend, to mold, to maneuver into what you see as fit.

Lover of unicorns, horses, hedgehogs, dragons and Mo Willems books, you live your life in a wonderland of imagination.  You make up stories of characters who go on adventures with elves, fairies, mermaids and wizards.  You write poetry and paint images with detail and abandon.  And, I stand in awe.

Now, entering your fourth month of first grade, you are resolute that you will be a reader.  You try your best to sound out words phonetically, but in the end, your lack of patience gets the best of you.  And you just scream out, when it doesn't come easily....or, you make up your own words, because according to you, you could of written the book better.

Twirling in ballet, banging notes on the piano, riding your bike without training wheels, painting your toenails bright yellow and purple, your life is full and alive.

And even though, many times, we wish you would slow down or give us a little less attitude, we realize that at the core, you are unstoppable and we garner passion and energy from yours.  You teach us to let loose, to be free, and to grab what life has to offer--and when it's not enough--to make your own.

Everyday, we are grateful for your spirit, your smile and the way you make our hearts sing.

Here's to the seventh year...may it bring you more opportunities to chase the sun and to know just how deeply you are loved.

Love always,

Mama

Ode to 42

Here's to the turn...

the intentional change

the shift

the looking up, every now and again, to stand both in gratitude, but also

in expectant hope for newness

a different set of spectacles

perspective

awareness

for the painfulness and beauty of the presence

the deep space of

ordinary time

where it hurts to sink in

and there is nothing more or

better to do than to hold

the one who desperately wants to

read Dr. Seuss

and refrain from strangling the not-so-little

boy who cannot remember where he put his retainers or

why it matters if you wear deodorant

and to encourage the girl who

re-purposes milk cartons and old socks

and to laugh with the man

who gets me like no other

Yes, to all of it

and to all of them...

and 

to the girl with brown hair

and blue eyes

and a soft gaze

and a heart that invites and wants to know more

about everything, really.

Ode to the squishy legs

and the lines around the brow

to the moments of weakness

and the ferocity of strength

may the 42nd year be filled

with the promise that you are indeed enough,

now and

always.