The Dash

Over Christmas break,

in between hosting family gatherings, catering to the uninvited stomach flu, making pots of chicken noodle soup, pans of banana bread and steaming cups of coffee, I couldn't get a movie line out of my head.

"There are two dates on your tombstone that friends and family will notice, but it's the dash between that counts."

***

For some, New Year's Eve is a time to get wildly inebriated.  They celebrate the year that was and raise a glass or several to what will be in the upcoming year, filled with so much hope and possibility.

For others, it's a time to be nestled at home, standing in gratitude for what was and wonderment at what the new year will bring.

For many, the resolution is to to lose weight...at least 10 pounds.  They buy work out wear, new running shoes, a smart watch, and tell their friends that they will meet them at the gym, come hell or high water.

Some say that they'll call their mom more and vow to spend less time at the office and more quality moments with their kids.  They won't miss another game.  They'll really listen, even when there's so much to do.

It's also a time to purge...to get rid of shit in your closet or desk drawers...to fill Goodwill bags with jeans that aren't ever going to make it over your hips and sweaters that you can't bring yourself to wear.

I've been all of these resolvers at one time and many times, all at once.  So, while I was listening to the kettle boil in my kitchen, I thought about how I wanted to feel at the end of 2018, instead of exclusively what I wanted to do.

And the truth is, I want my dash to be filled with peace and purpose.

***

2017 brought dash marks that came too early for people that I really, really loved.  It brought me sadness and frustration and fear and uncertainty.  It made me mindful that mortality is real and that life is not a dress rehearsal.  It taught me to say "I love you" and to forgive because tomorrow is not a guarantee.  And still, I wrestle with whether there are real lessons learned or if it's just part of the "suckage" of life.

And I guess, some years are like that.  Times that you are just ready to leave behind.

But while there is no number, as of yet, on the right side of my dash, I wonder, what 2018 will bring?  When it delivers joy, will I celebrate?  When it hands me heartache, will I trust that God is still present?  And when it hints at possibility, will I be open?

It is this last question that I am most intrigued by.  How will I be available to what the future holds?   Will I strong arm the unknown and say, "No, that doesn't feel comfortable or knowable or imaginable or doable?"  Or, will I let it take up residence for a bit and give it a chance?  Will I automatically reject what it has to offer or how much work it will take to get there?  And when the idea or the feeling comes, will I believe that I am worthy of embarking upon it?

Everyone has a birth date.  And a death date.

And a dash.

It's the dash that counts.  No matter how short or long between.

How do you want this part of the dash to look...to feel...to mean?  And at this time next year, will you look in the mirror and say, I let myself go for it.  I won some.  I lost others.  But I believed that it was worth it.