A Moment of Celebration

We're such good partyers.  The whole lot of us.

We get invited, most of the time, off the cuff...to a room jammed full of people--that we either know tangentially or have approximately 2 minutes of common ground with--exploding with poor acoustics and loud music such that we're not really hearing what the other person is sharing, nor most of the time do we care--while simultaneously drowning ourselves in wine, beer or the like.

We want to be entertained--passively receiving stimuli that doesn't require intention, purpose or authentic connection.

The truth is that as a culture, we don't really know how to celebrate...to come together in community with anticipation for the gathering; to create space that accommodates real, raw connection that says, in this moment, above all others, I celebrate you and us and what we mean to each other.

Tonight, I got the rare opportunity to do so.

I've been meeting for one year with a hodgepodge of amazing misfits....women that have come together month over month with intention to bear witness, provide a safe space of encouragement, a container of strength and an indomitable communal spirit that says, I believe in you and what you intend for your life and the world.

In many respects, it has been both the most liberating and exhilarating part of my 2015.

Tonight, as we said goodbye in celebration, we were tasked with writing 2-3 minutes of what we know for sure post this whirlwind of a year.  And because, I am quite literally an open book with the hope of writing a book and staying viscerally connected to what my heart believes...this is what I wrote.

what i know for sure that deserves celebration...

i am a maker of words
a story teller
a bearer of truth
a woman that makes a difference in the world

raw, real, afraid
unsure, bold
beautiful
a woman who has experienced hurt and sorrow but is not mired in shame

i am a mother of three
brash, bright, wild-eyed beauties
who i yearn everything for
and for whom I have given my everything

strong particularly when weak
rooted in those who have
come before
a bearer of hope and wisdom.

That's it.  We toasted each other, cried, hugged and left with the intent that we would all walk out the door sharing each other with the world--different, changed, grateful and hopeful for 2016.

As we embark upon a season of gathering, both voluntary and obligatory, my prayer is that our hearts can find moments of reflection and wonder as we pause to celebrate, intentionally with one other.  I have a feeling that the intention could change the entire encounter...which may be a celebration in and of itself.

What I Know About Me...

It's funny. 

The older I get, the more aware and probably honest I am, about what I am and what I am not.

I know a few things.

I'm a high maintenance girl who tries to pretend that she's not.  I like things a certain way and often the only reason that they're not is because I can't afford it or I don't have enough energy in this season of my life to make it so.

I hate researching anything.  I am impulsive and intuitive.  Nine times out of ten, I make the right decision, but sometimes, I'm painfully aware that I could have had better, had I just taken my time and explored the options.

I am deeply infatuated with smart, non-pretentious, capable people.  There is nothing I love more than getting drunk and commiserating with folks who challenge my thinking and freely share their ideas...it's orgasmic, really.

I love being a girl.  I love long hair. Skirts. Tanned legs. Talks over coffee/champagne with my girlfriends. And making my husband's head turn.

I was called to be a mother.  For all of the shit that comes with parenting and there is more literal and metaphorical feces than I ever thought possible...I would lay down my life and my sanity day in and day out for my three munchkins.

Unkind, self righteous people send me over the edge.  There is nothing more deflating than being privy to the judgmental rantings of a lunatic on his soap box.  It makes me want to commit acts of violence.

All people who cannot merge correctly onto the interstate should immediately implode.

I fear that I will always question my confidence and my ability to perform...which is probably why my writings will remain in the form of a blog and I will ultimately, be that quiet mom encouraging my three to conquer the world.

If I love you or have loved you...I will love you forever.  It's just how I was made.

It's refreshing to assess who you are and to own who you are not...knowing that you're perfect, idiosyncrasies and all.