Just Listen to Me...I Love You

This morning, I ran 12 miles.

The evolution of the run was pretty typical.  My first two miles are always the hardest.  The music starts to pump, my feet hit the pavement, my breath is choppy, and I spend what seems to be an inordinate amount of time trying to find my groove.

I start to fuel and hydrate.  I exhale and then it happens, I get lost.  I know my training course so well that I could probably run it blindfolded and this morning it served me well.

I was able to really think and clear my head.

It's been a long week.  An intense week with my husband out of town and all of the last minute summer festivities unfolding before school starts on Monday.

So, it was with a big smile on my face that I remembered Kate, my little girl getting ready to start Kindergarten.  It was the night of her Open House and for some reason, I was distracted and not paying attention to her.  All of a sudden, she grabbed the sides of my face and said, "Just listen to me, I love you."

It caught me completely off guard and captured all of me immediately.

With all of the hoopla and anxiety surrounding my trip to Chicago to run a half marathon race, I've been clinging to my faith.  Praying that the logistics will take care of themselves.  Hoping that the weather will hold out on race day.  Trusting that my legs, heart, and spirit will get me through.  Believing that I'll feel connected to the friends that I haven't seen in years.  And feeling secure that the time, the energy, and the agony will have been worth it.

And strangely in those moments, I hear God saying, "Just listen to me, I love you."  I'm with you...each step...each moment...each memory.  This is a gift.  Enjoy it.  

A Time to Let Go and to Embrace

Today is the first day of Advent...the season of letting go of the worldly to open our hearts to God's unconditional love and grace.

So, what superficial things do we cling to that often paralyze us more than helping us? 

For me, it's a false sense of control and fear.

From the time I was a little person, I've always had a plan, always known just what I was meant to do.  My parents tell a story of me in a mock-Arby's uniform taking my dad's lunch order at the end of the driveway with a steno pad.  That little order taker grew up to wreak havoc on the speech and debate team, write for the school newspaper, cheer for the football team, give the commencement address to her high school classmates and eventually go off to college and graduate school.  Always having a plan, always hell bent to succeed and afraid of anything less.

So, when the doctor said, "Push...you can do it," and my son arrived, I no longer had a plan, no road map, no instructional manual.  Suddenly, the most important gift I'd ever been given was outside of me and I immediately had to trust that everything would work out.  And for the most part, it has...but definitely, not according to plan.

As human beings, we're limited.  We have a finite amount of time, energy, patience, stamina, competency, and experience.  We want the best for our lives and for those we love...but often, we fall short due to our selfishness, neediness, and desires.  The truth is that when we let go and trust...a much better and sustainable outcome manifests itself.  We just have to believe.  It's the magic of faith.

What is holding you back from experiencing the fullness of God's love?