Anticlimactic Start to Summer

I had a different idea for what today, the last day of school would look like.

In years past, our older two children would bound out of their rooms, screaming, "Last Day!" and scarf down breakfast, super excited for a half day of no homework and goodbyes to their friends.

After taking the obligatory, "You made it to the end," pictures and sending them on their way, I would take a quick shower and then head with our youngest to pick them back up.  Our walk home would entail great talk of all of our summer plans (a trip to California, loads of time in the pool, bike rides, strawberry smoothies, cherry popsicles and mindless staring at the sky).  Upon arriving home, we would trade the stroller for the car and head to our favorite ice cream spot and load waffle cones with mint chip for them and coffee for me.

But five days ago, our youngest came down with fever that never really went away and this morning, our oldest complained of an upset stomach and then, my husband was down for the count.

So, after dropping my middle one off at school.  I headed to the market to buy ingredients for chicken noodle soup and blueberry muffins--my go-to comfort food when the fam is ill.  In the check out line, the cashier began singing  Whitney Huston's, "I Wanna Dance With Somebody," (not well), all the while telling me that she can't help but sing when Whitney comes on.

Upon arriving home, my son told me that he had an ant in his room.

After scoping it out, we realized that he was raising an ant brigade complete with barracks, brought on by a fucking Jolly Rancher mound that he conveniently left in the corner of his desk.

And then, my youngest found a bag of balloons and proceeded to blow them up while snotting all over herself and shoving them into my face to tie the knot on the end.

And then, my bored son helped himself to the baking soda and vinegar to conduct science experiments in the bathroom which led to the toilet rim having a gritty, cocaine-like surface on it.

And then, I realized...it's summer.

Fuck!

So, here's my new mantra....expectations are for the birds.  Adventure and rolling with the punches is so much better, right?!

My prayer is that all of the sickness will vacate our abode so that we can embark upon a summer of health and more fun than we can imagine.

And if that doesn't happen, I'll be into the fire water a little more than usual over the next 12-weeks and for certain singing, "I Wanna Dance With Somebody."

Bittersweet

Spring has sprung.

It's 75 degrees and I'm watching the gloriousness from my window...all of it.  The sunshine, the blue sky, the bikers, the runners, the kids walking home with their backpacks, the birds chirping and the tiny green plants forcing their way up to greet the world.

That's with one eye.

With the other, I'm watching my 4-year old daughter snuggled up with her blanket, eyes closed, fever managed, finally sleeping.  She's been sick for the last five days.  Prior to that, her older brother and sister missed three days of school last week (unheard of in our home) because of similarly high fevers, yucky coughs, and general fatigue.

I've made lots of trips to Target.  Cart filled with ibuprofen, acetaminophen, bananas, popsicles, bleach, Lysol and Clorox wipes.

I haven't made many trips out the door with my running shoes on or to greet the sunshine.  And so, it's been a rough start to spring for our clan.  Praise God for friends who bring iced coffees, sweet sunshine balloons, Dove chocolates and kind texts that remind me that I'm not alone.

But through this Lenten season, I stumbled upon a book that I've fallen in love with called "Savor," written by a mother who knows how hard it is to savor the moments when you're trying to simply survive them. In this daily devotional, she writes about the power of the bittersweet.  Here are her words...

"Bittersweet is the idea that in all things there is something beautiful and something broken, that there is a sliver of lightness on even the darkest of nights and a slice of hope with every heartbreak.  Bittersweet is the practice of believing that we really do need both the bitter and the sweet and that a life of nothing but sweetness rots both your teeth and your soul.  Bitter is what makes us strong, what forces us to push through, what helps us to earn the lines on our faces and the callouses on our hands. Sweet is nice enough but bittersweet is beautiful, nuanced, full of depth and complexity.  Bittersweet is courageous, gutsy and earthy."


Boom.  Tears in my eyes.  This has purpose.  All of it.

For a type A, crazy-ass control freak mama like myself who really at the end of the day has absolutely nothing to bitch about, this resonated.  We have no idea what will come in this beautiful, messy, unpredictable life we've been given...so why not savor it, all of it?  Why not take everything it has to offer, especially the hard and the unfair...it makes the sweetness, that much juicier.  It feeds the soul in ways that we could have never felt with the same abundance before we knew the hurt.

So, as she's sleeping and I'm realizing that it's 3pm and I'm still in my pajamas, I say thank you for the bittersweet.  It's making me the mother and the woman that I am today.