Showing posts with label Sara Bareilles. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sara Bareilles. Show all posts

Sunday, October 5, 2014

My Muse

This weekend has been nothing short of busy.

You know the one where you're looking forward to Monday just so that you can catch your breath.

And through the in's and out's of all there is to do, my discipline for working on a short story writing assignment per my friendly throw-down contest with an undergrad friend is well, not going so well.

Why is it so hard to say goodbye to the to-do's and carve out space for the creative process?

Where do we find our inspiration?

Where is our muse?

Staring off into an oblivion listening to music, "Bright Lights and Cityscapes" by Sara Bareilles came on...take a listen.


And then it came.  It's as though, as the writer, you yearn to be inhabited by the muse...whomever she may be.  You want her to come on like a freight train and you to be ready, the vessel, through which the message will be delivered to the world.  You, the noticer, the observer, the pen....and she the bright lights and cityscapes.  And somewhere in the process, you're exhilarated, mystified, worn out,  never wanting her to leave you...but then, as all good things do, she must go.  And you're left holding the pen wondering when she'll return, exhausted and a bit sad.

I'm certain the creatives find inspiration in the most mundane and the most majestic of spots.  Their partners, blades of grass, color, tragedy, love, desire, washing the dishes, a toe nail, cancer, the birth of a baby.

The world is filled with stories begging to be told.  But sometimes, no matter how hard you try or how deeply you pay attention or how frequently you show up to write, your muse is no where to be found.

It is in these moments that I've decided to stop chasing her and instead to invent her or to recreate her based on the stories inside my heart or those I create in others.

I suppose at the end of the day, muse or no muse, the goal is to keep writing...to keep creating...to keep being the vessel, trusting that the words and the tales need to be told, if only for the benefit of me.


Sunday, September 28, 2014

It's About the Intention

I'm such a creature of habit.

I tend to wake up at the same time, run through the same morning routine, buy similar grocery items, wear clothes I feel comfortable in, listen to the music that I know will put me in that mood, lean toward certain figures of speech, and in general, weave in and out of known circles of life.

So, it was frustrating when I woke up this Sunday morning and instead of grabbing a hot cup of coffee and my New York Times, I knew that I had to tackle 12 miles because I'd put it off the day before.

My next race is two weeks away and already I can feel butterflies.

The first six miles were phenomenal.  The music was pounding.  The breeze was blowing.  My running skirt was happily taking me along my route and I was that girl that smiled at every passer byer.

And then, the shade magically went away.  The sun started pelting down on my back and my legs felt heavy.

No, no, no.

Grabbing a quick sip of water, I remembered a quote from an interview with one of my, okay, probably my favorite artist, Sara Bareilles on the release of her latest album, "The Blessed Unrest."

The journalist was hammering her about contradictions in the break-up songs versus the up-lifting ones of optimism and hope asking if she was embarrassed about sharing such a personal, autobiographical composition that felt a bit schizophrenic.  To which she beautifully and brilliantly replied, "Aren't we all a little schizophrenic? Our lives are consumed in the ups and the downs the wants and the needs the knowing and the not-knowing.  It's not about the outcome.  It's really only about the intention."

God damn it.  That is it.

If I never run as fast as I think I'm capable.  If I never publish a piece of literature.  If I never graduate to a mini-van or a big girl car.  If I struggle with who I am and who I am not.  In the end, the only thing that matters...that I should care about as my head hits the pillow...is if I tried.

And today, I ran 12 miles.  Some of them were really good.  Others were not.  Some had me hopeful.  Some had me praying for a bench or my bed.  But all of them added up to 12.

It doesn't matter where we land...it just matters that we set out with the intention to get there.  A heart, a mind, a will that wants "it" trusting that the "it" will disclose itself in due time.