Allow, Allow, Allow

I have been practicing my breathing.

Deep inhales from the belly with ginormous exhales that go on forever.

That's because I'm on a stretch of single parenting and well, my kiddos were assholes at the art museum this afternoon. 

I'm not sure why, but they know when to push my buttons and each other's particularly, when we're in public and I can't go full-on bat shit crazy for fear that Child Protective Services will swoop down and take them away for good.

Knowing that I cannot lose my shit with them, does not in anyway prevent them from losing their shit witn me and producing tantrums of a "Cybl" caliber. 

And so, it was with lots of breathing and kind words and semi-gritting of my teeth that I said to my beautiful, sweet, Kate (8), "This behavior is absolutely unacceptable.  You pushed a three-year old little boy.  We are at an art museum, not your bedroom.  You need to take turns and allow someone to experience what you are."  To which she replied, "I can't help it.  He ruined my painting. What would you have done?"

Her heartfelt words reminded me of my yoga class yesterday as I was struggling to find my way into "Crow" position.  It wasn't working.  I was getting frustrated and my instructor said, "This is a safe space to play and grow into the postures. Try not to force it.  One day, you'll arrive.  Allow, allow, allow it to be what it's going to be."  Ugh...I'm tired of allowing it to be what it's going to be.  I want it to work, even for half a second.

And to that end, I see me in Kate.  She had a creation in mind and someone fucked it up.  The natural response is to push back and protect what's yours instead of allowing it to become what it will.

Much like parenting, I struggle to let the afternoon emerge as it will.  I have an idea of what I think it can be and when it's not working, rarely do I take a step back and trust that it will work itself out.  Instead, I shove it, push it, morph it, bang it until well....we're all exhausted and spent.

But damn it, it's hard and frustrating and well, the last thing you want to feel when you're experiencing beautiful art at a museum.

That said, upon getting into the car, Kate said, "I'm sorry. I could have been nicer."  To which I said, "Me too."  Which took every fiber of my being to own. 

I guess my children weren't the only assholes at the museum.  Here's to more deep breathing and wine...yes, wine.

A Summer to Remember

We had a fantastic summer.

Really, one for the record books in so many ways.

We began with a whirlwind, fairytale trip to Disneyland, Legoland and the beaches of southern California...

Mixed in a super fun Fourth of July weekend and Seventh birthday for Kate...

Threw in time at the Joslyn Art Museum, the Children's Museum, the Library, the Zoo, and the pool...

And the fire station...

Got our first big girl hair cut...

Taught the kids how to play Scrabble...

Hosted our friends while their parents took a much deserved trip to Jamaica...

Had a blast berry picking, having water wars, swimming and eating bomb pops with our Oklahoma cousins..

Watched as Sam braved his first solo plane ride to Dallas to cheer the Rangers on as they beat the Yankees,,,

Sent all three kids off on their first collective Dad's and Kids Camping trip while mom took the weekend to eat, drink and be merry by herself.

And sadly, said goodbye to my father-in-law, "Grandpa Mike,"

And now I sit in awe, the uniforms, backpacks, lunch boxes, school supplies, tennis shoes, and hair ribbons have all been bought.  The kids know who their teachers are and which kids will be in their classes.

I'm days away from approaching my break-out year as my youngest, Claire, 3 will start preschool three mornings a week and Sam will enter fourth grade and Kate will enter second.

Where did 12 weeks go?  I think I'm ready for them to go and to get back to a weekly schedule and a morning routine.  But, man, we did have fun...even if there was some screaming and threatening involved.

Here's to the last 5 days of summer...
 

Finding Love at the Museum

This morning, after pancakes and a quick run, we grabbed the kiddos and headed out the door to Josyln Art Museum. 

For our community, the Joslyn is an amazing asset.  The building is majestic, the exhibits are world renowned and their focus on children and family is a huge draw.  And, every Saturday morning, admission is free.

Currently, they're featuring a 100+ piece exhibit from the Brooklyn Museum entitled, "To Live Forever: Egyptian Treasurers" focusing on life, death, afterlife, mummification, tombs, rituals and burials.  It's pretty off the charts.

We spent time with the three kiddos just standing in awe of the paintings and talking about what we experienced when we saw them.  This is something that I've been eager and wanting to incorporate into our family outings for sometime.  Sam, our 7-year old kept grabbing our arms and saying, "Come here, I have something extremely special to show you."  And then, Kate, 4-years old, would gasp, "Cool...a map or a statue."  The baby just took it in and walked around like a drunken sailor.

I love watching my children fall in love with art.  And even if we can only spend a short time before our bellies need a snack and our bodies need to run, jump, and play...it says to me that their imaginations are hungry and yearning for ways to connect with the world.

I'm certain that this is just the beginning of many outings.  My hope is that we'll be able to explore in lots of different communities and who knows maybe one day their pieces will hang on a wall for others to fall in love with too.