Making Facebook Come Alive

It's funny how the beauty and the creepy part of social media is that you can be "friends" with people on Facebook or follow others on Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram or Tumblr and potentially never see them in real life or see them very rarely in the flesh.

And so it is that I find myself "friends" with many people (900 or so) who are mutual friends of my childhood, highschool, undergrad, graduate school, professional working days, volunteer organizations, parish extensions, social justice missions or political interest groups. 

I don't find it particularly odd that we've never met or may never meet.  Most of us are in similar life stations...married/committed to partners, parents, middle-aged, runners, writers, crazies just trying to make it through life. 

I like looking at pictures of their family, following their adventures and I'm thankful when they support me through mine.

And so, it wasn't odd, but a bit surreal, when upon arriving at the park with my kiddos this morning, I saw in person for the first time, a Facebook friend I've never met other than online.  I've long been a fan of his.  He and his beautiful wife are parenting I think it's 7 kiddos...oh no, I can't remember now, I just know that they took up the entire row of swings at the park and he was single-handedly pushing them all through the air.

He posts hysterical antics that happen around their home and different than me, seems to roll with it all like it's nothin but a thang.  In fact, while we were chatting it up, one of his little guys took a tumble off the swing, only to get up and have another swing clock him in the face.  Instead of yelling, screaming, and freaking out (my modus operandi), he simply reached down, picked up his hysterical little one and made him feel better. Such a cool dad.

Often, people lament about all of the bad things about Facebook...the ways in which it's taking our identity and using it to rule the world...why it reformatted its functions to make our lives miserable yet again...why it seemingly works fine on our laptops, but sucks on our mobile devices...

For me, a stay-at-home mama of three little crazies, it makes me feel connected.  It lets me know that other people are just trying to do the best that they can do too.  It gives me notice when someone has something to celebrate or needs a note because something tragic has come across their path.

Because of our busy schedules, it's unlikely that this Facebook friend and I will cross paths again...but it was good to see the virtual world of Facebook meet the physical world of my community park and to know that we're all just livin the dream...giving one kids' boo boo a hug at a time.

Lots of Room...and Need...for Love

I haven't been writing much lately.

I'm not sure what to chalk it up to.  I suppose any old excuse will do.  Busyness of the season.  Exhaustion from mothering three little ones.  Or maybe, a need to take a step away so as to assess where I am.

The morning of Friday, December 14th, 2012 was definitively a wake-up call.

I woke up extremely exhausted.  Our youngest daughter, Claire was to celebrate her second birthday, but unfortunately, she'd been up most of the night throwing up.  She was the last of the brood to take on the stomach flu.

I was preparing to get my "game face" on as I went in to teach a Conflict Resolution training to thirty plus not-for-profit members of the community.  Meanwhile, my husband was juggling morning appointments so that he could be home with our sick little one while also getting the older two to school.

As everyone got situated, I asked participants to share their names, agency affiliation, and their personal contribution toward world peace.  I introduced myself as the CEO of my household and told them that my contribution was personal timeouts from my children, so as not to commit acts of violence during times of extreme frustration and lack of patience.  Everyone laughed and then one by one, individuals gave profoundly important answers to the icebreaker question.

Feeling good about the training, I drove home and checked Facebook.

Very quickly I learned that there was a horrible school shooting in a small town in Connecticut called Newtown and that they didn't know how many children had been murdered or staff members.  I thought I would vomit.  And then, I quickly called home.  Were my children okay?  My God, how could this happen again?

In the days that followed where we learned more details about how many children and adults were massacred, it all became so heart breaking that I found myself filled with more sadness than anything.

Simultaneously, I watched friends on Facebook decimate each other with their opinions about gun control, gun rights, mental illness, school security, and a barrage of other topics semi-related to the shootings.  It reminded me all over again of the political commentary revolving around the elections.

In this season and spirit of the holidays, I am reminded that we are all in need of greater tolerance, grace, and love.  None of us has the answers.  We can universally agree that to lose someone we love with all our heart is beyond imaginable. 

My prayer in the new year is that we draw closer together...that the lives that were tragically lost in Newtown serve to help us to cling tighter and not to divide.  We need one another.  We do better when we are connected.  We are all valuable individually and collectively.

And so I am reminded of Mother Teresa's words:

"If we have no peace it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other."  Amen.