Kelly's Hot Mess: Ode to Sam on Your 21st Birthday

February 8, 2026

My Dearest Sam,

Happy, Happy 21st Birthday!!

I can hardly believe that you're 21-years old AND studying abroad in Copenhagen AND that I'm not the only blogger in the family! It's been amazing keeping track of all of your incredible adventures through the eyes of your camera and masterful writing.

It reminds me of when I was your age studying in Greece and Turkey.

Aw man, Sam, there are so many things I want to share with you, but in a weird way, I feel like as you've grown and gone away to college, that I've really lucked out and been able to have many meaningful, beautiful conversations with you--particularly when you were home for a month before heading to Europe.

Often, we grabbed hats, gloves, and all of the big questions we could muster and made multiple loops around Elmwood Park sharing stories, getting into the weeds, picking up acorns (to remind us of our potential) and wrestling with the unanswerable. I think I've kind of been waiting for this closeness in our relationship. It's the gift of a lifetime to journey and to learn from and with you.

Over the years, people would tell dad and me that you remind them of an old soul and that your focus on the things that matter and your loyalty to your friends and family is unparalleled. So, while I would love to offer you pieces of advise or words of wisdom--it's hard to encourage you to do anything differently, because you've got such a north star guiding you that it's both inspiring and comforting.

The one thing that fifty years of life does bring is the gradual understanding that the questions are infinitely more interesting and more true than the answers. This is why when you declared studio art and philosophy as your majors I was thrilled beyond measure. I knew you'd be reading the good thinkers and asking the hard questions as you examined what it means to live a good life.

I'm not very good at it, but I'm learning that getting comfortable with uncertainty and not knowing is the mark of peace. And that following your heart/gut/intuition/longing/yearning/curiosity/wonderment/hope/despair/concern/belief will never steer you wrong. The danger lies in doing what you think the world wants you to do to prove your worth or your value.

So, let me say it now--no matter where you go, who you meet, what you study, where you work, who you love--you are a child of God with a purpose and a free will and a big, beautiful, wild, unique, precious life...so, live, really, live fully into it knowing that it doesn't have to look like anyone else's except for yours. And that is the tricky part--because the world won't always understand or even condone your choices--they'll tell you that smart people do this or pragmatic people do that or strategic people work here or successful people look like this or love like that. Fuck them.

Stand up straight. Walk into the rooms. Be brave. Tell your story. Share your dreams and don't be afraid to be the only one listening.

And as you grapple with internships in other states, graduate school or jobs, relationships and what is meant to be--trust that if you remain open and let your voice be the loudest, you'll know when it's time to throw yourself at something or to pivot gracefully and move toward something else. And as you do so, keep taking your cameras and journals with you-document it all. Remind yourself of the incredible architecture, the extraordinary food, the loud, beautiful, kind people, bike riding and metro hopping and all of the culinary meals with newfound friends from across the globe, and say to yourself--this life, my life--isn't always easy, but it's really, really good.