Ode to Sam on Your 17th Birthday

 February 8, 2022

My Dearest Sam,

Today, you are 17-years old.

There's a million things I want to share--mostly because every time I think about you, I'm bowled over in awe, while simultaneously, feeling like time is slipping through my hands.

Weren't we just doing this...

Holiday room parties, STAC quiz bowl sessions, cub scouts, Magic tournaments, Harry Potter marathons, piano lessons, epic bike rides, and countless pushes on swings and walks home from school.

Now, you pick up your sisters from school, grab a gallon of milk at HyVee, and let me bless you five million times before you leave the house while promising to be safe on the roads.

Remember all of those dinosaurs with the crazy multi-syllabic names that only you could pronounce, and the times we stood and watched the incredible construction sites while you named all of the trucks and the intricacies of what they could do?  Or, how about when staying up until 9pm was late...and indulging in pancakes with Nutella and whipped cream required asking for special permission?

Now, you and your best friends head out for sushi, movies, and soon, will take a trip to go look at colleges.

 

I really do know this is supposed to happen.  I mean, I can remember when I was 17 and all of the larger than life plans, hopes, dreams and excitement I had.  I also remember the craziness of trying to maintain a strong GPA, a competitive ACT score, and loads of activities while holding down a job.

But I never did it like you're doing it.  It's been the greatest gift to see you soar, in only the way that you, Sam, the humblest of them can do.

This year, we celebrated the unbelievable accomplishment of earning your Eagle Scout.  When I think of the number of hours post first grade that you and your father put into service, camp outs, skills based seminars, meetings, leadership roles, and projects--I stand in amazement.  And the truth is, you didn't waver.  You wanted it and learned more than we could have imagined.

 

Your junior year has also seen you running cross country, taking crazy hard AP and honors classes, continuing your lawn mowing business, trying a stint part-time in the restaurant business, serving in a leadership role in the Prep Film and Photography club, serving on retreats, and chauffeuring your sisters all over God's green earth.

Some of the most fun was taking you and the girls to Lake Forest College where dad and I met, and to Northwestern to start the college exploration.  My favorite comment was how surprisingly small the dorm rooms are...indeed, son, indeed.

As we continue on this journey of figuring out where the next home will be, I'm mindful of a million of things.  The first is the reminder that you're right where you're supposed to be.  God made you to be the steadiest of old souls.  Your internal compass is extraordinary.  You know what seems right, and you really cannot be moved.  I've tried to get you to swear (Lord knows I'm a master coach in the art), to drink coffee (this still boggles my mind that you have zero desire), to taste a sip of wine (a hard pass by you), and never once have you asked for a social media account.

You are rock solid. 

But the truth is...in less than 18-months, you're going to leave us, and head off for the next adventure--probably in a new city with people and experiences that may shake who you are and what you know.

So, here's what I want to impart...

• People are people no matter where you go.  Continue to treat them well. Leave them better than they found you.
  
• Pray and ground yourself in silence--trust in the inner knowing that tells you when you should or shouldn't do something.  And, when you feel afraid to try something, ask yourself, "If fear wasn't here, could I see myself loving it?"  And if the answer is yes, go for it.  No one ever regretted trying something that they really hoped would come true (even if they landed flat on their face).
• Good things happen when you leave the house.  Get out of your bedroom (dorm).  Stay off your phone.  Explore.  Meet someone.  Give them a smile and find something to ask them about.
• It's okay that you don't know what you want to be when you grow up.  The truth is...no one does.  We're all just faking it.  Enjoying what we can.  Changing when we're able.
• Decide who you are, even when others make it seem like you should not be.  And the who you are has nothing to do with what your business card says.  Foundationally, decide what you stand for. 
  
• At the end of the day, the only two things that matter are, "I love you," and "I'm sorry." Get good at saying them often.  Life will be infinitely easier this way.
• You are so, so, so deeply loved.  When you lose your way, you can always come home.  We'll be here.  So, too, will your bed and your things--but for now, use your wings to find another safe place to land.  There's more goodness out there than you can imagine.  And when you run across the bad, keep running---it will take you to the next right choice/place.

And so, on this day, Happy Birthday, Sam...may your heart be full and may you always know that there's so many of us rooting for you--wanting all of the good for you this year and every year forward.  Here's to more blessings than you can imagine.

All my love, Mama