Ode to 16-Years

April 17, 2020

My Dearest Ray,

I never imagined that we'd celebrate our 16th wedding anniversary in the middle of a global pandemic.

An author recently coined this time the "Great Pause,"... a collective deep breath of uninvited, unexpected, necessary reflection.

And so, in gratitude with so much time to consider us...

Thank you...that during this time of roller coaster uncertainty, fear, and exhaustion, you know me so well to gently nudge media out of my hands, wrap your arms around me, and remind me of what is real and enduring.

Thank you...that planning to spend our 16th anniversary on a Friday night playing Scrabble with the kids, while eating an insane amount of popcorn doesn't feel like a let-down--because your love for our family passionately parallels mine.

Thank you for making all of the meals in our home so much better than I could, and for crafting the perfect carrot cake. 

Thank you...for honoring us by believing in who we are as individuals first.  You indulge my two cents on the latest podcast interview, NYT article, memoir I'm reading, political grappling, theory about how the world should work--and even if you don't agree--you let me have my time in the sun--with zero interest in changing me.  We share ideas, honor the differences, and move on.

Thank you for having boundless energy when I do not...and for never keeping score...because Lord knows, I owe you.

Thank you for teaching me that a 16+year love with two people in their "mid-lives" is messy, tiring, steadfast, ordinary, brave, magical, and filled with little to no bull shit.  This usually shows up in your show-me, don't tell-me way of loving each of us so fiercely.

Thank you for always doing the next right thing.

Thank you for your big, crazy, infectious laugh--the one that says, life is for the living and damn it, that was funny as hell.

Thank you for your love of God, and the way you model a life of lived faith and service to our children.

Thank you for taking the time, long before the Great Pause, to call your mom regularly, to find the perfect fabric for Kate's latest costume design...to attend every one of Claire's taekwondo lessons memorizing her form while she does...to listen to Sam while he painstakingly teaches himself how to play the guitar...and for consistently encouraging me to write the book in my heart.

Thank you for saying yes in a million little ways over and over again to us.

During the Great Pause, I am the luckiest....to get the gift of stopping dead in my tracks to look at you, us, and these three children of ours...if I thanked you daily, it would not be enough.

Happy Anniversary, My Love,

Kelly