Assumptions

This morning in the gym locker room, I overheard two ladies talking about a co-worker who was clearly having a shot gun wedding and how the relationship didn't have a chance in hell of survival.

This shit drives me crazy and is one thing that I do not miss about the office.

We are such assumptive creatures.  It's in our DNA to compare ourselves to others and typically, in an effort to feel better about our own set of circumstances, we determine that the other guy's got it worse than we do. And, that he probably deserves it.

But you know the old adage, assumptions only make an ass out of you and me.

So, how well do we really know each other? 

Allow me to "out" myself on a few issues.  I didn't shower the entire weekend.  Yep, I stunk so much that my kids said, "Wow, you need a bath."

One of my children's friends dropped over and exclaimed after seeing our basement/playroom..."This is a mess."  I prefer to call it organized chaos.  But, you'd call it a mess.

Here's another one, if you call me and I'm in the middle of something, I won't answer my phone.  It's just not worth it. I figure that you'll leave me a message if you want me to call you back.

And yet another, I jack up idioms all the time and then am dumbfounded when someone laughs their ass off while I'm taking myself seriously.  For example, you might find me somberly saying, "A bird in the bush is worth two in the hand."

And finally a doozy for you...I have faked an ____...you know what.  And, it's not been with my husband which means that I've also had _____....you know what.  Which means that I must be a promiscuous slut who's marriage is doomed and who's children will be tarnished for life.


So, do we know each other?