This morning, I picked up my New York Times and there was an insert for a theater company promoting its upcoming 2012 season.
One of the plays was entitled, "Insidious" and offered the tagline, "Insatiable Needs...Unspeakable Deeds."
And this got me thinking.
We're all human. And subsequently, because we're fallible, broken, selfish...we all crave, we all have desires. Some of those desires have to be squelched, tamed, curbed for obvious reasons.
You know what I'm talking about...it could be as simple as wanting to buy something that you know you can't afford or even if you could, the money should be spent more sensibly on a different priority.
It could be your desire for sloth. You choose not to use your time well or to be indulgent...and maybe you don't give a shit in the process, but you beat yourself up afterwards.
The desires of our heart. Where do they come from? The ones we don't want to admit. The ones we try to pray out of our system. The ones that draw us back but feel disasterous.
Insatiable needs. I think we all have them. We simply choose to not give in. Or, we do, when it makes sense. But maybe, we're all born with those desires that never go away...we just learn to live with them.
I believe in heart's desires...even those shadowy ones. Because it doesn't work not to. We've all had that experience of trying to ignore our desire for oreos, a gorgeous wreath to adorn the front door or the chance to stand on a podium and speak our piece so hundreds will applaud and say, "isn't she brilliant."...well maybe not everyone loves a podium...
ReplyDeleteBut when we hide the bag of cookies, walk by the gorgeous wreaths or keep our mouth shut when our soul wants to sing something happens. A not so pretty something. And this is when shadowy desires get uber dark.
I have a friend who eats oreos in her pantry with the door closed. What am I talking about? The friend is me. :) Because I don't want people to see me. Isn't that silly?
And that podium thing? I get real resentful of people who are allowed to speak their mind and get a chance to be heard. I'm mean and spiteful and jealous.
Until I take my turn at the microphone.
Then I calm down.
Even if what I say didn't influence hundreds. It only influenced me.
That's why I like to hold those desires close and love 'em up. They feel like little teachers wrapped in not so pretty wrapping.
Thanks for reading this far. This was not a comment but rather a diatribe!
And this is why we picked each other so many years ago to be friends. I echo your sentiments to the fullest and marvel at the way that you can describe them. Love to you, friend.
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