In a few short weeks, we're headed to Colorado for our first family vacation in the Rocky Mountains.
We've been dreaming about what the adults and the kids want to do with their time.
On the agenda for me will be a lot of scenic trail running, hiking, smore making, and trips to write in solitude. My husband will probably be white water rafting, mountain biking, fishing and swimming. And the kids...well, they want to do everything.
I can't wait to breathe in the mountain air, take in the geography, giggle with my family and make memories.
I'm certain that we'll take lots of photos and video, but I'm sure it's the pictures in my mind that will be the most memorable...you know the random ones that arise out of the blue when there's no camera in sight and all you can do is treasure it.
So as we make our lists of things to bring, things to do, and places to visit...I am grateful for my family and for the beginning of these journeys...when Sam (7) will be able to recall experiences, Kate (4) will be old enough to endure a day's activities and Claire (17 months) is cute enough to help us withstand her screeches and still able to fall asleep in a front carrier.
Here's to memory making in Colorado.
Thursday, May 31, 2012
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Writer's Block
If you follow my blog, you've probably noticed that I haven't written in a few days.
Most of the time, I have stories brimming in my head that I'm desperate to get out.
My blog has served as a tool encouraging me to get out of my head and into the world...allowing me to better understand myself and to minimize over analyzing themes.
But lately, every time I've gone to write, I'm met with a blank stare or a full body exhaustion that says, "not now, rest, consume, don't expel, there's nothing of significance here." And to be honest, that makes me sad.
This post marks my 200th entry in eight months of hosting the blog...and so, I believe in my heart that I enjoy writing, that I'm motivated to put thought to paper (so to speak), and the commentary from all of you has been more than heartening.
So, what's wrong? Where am I? Maybe this is a normal part of the process? To feel derailed...to feel minimal...to feel that the words are just words...and maybe aren't necessary to be shared.
I'm not sure. Either way, I'm slugging through and waiting to see what emerges. My hope is more creative juice...something more to chew on....something to keep me afloat.
The beauty of writer's block.
Most of the time, I have stories brimming in my head that I'm desperate to get out.
My blog has served as a tool encouraging me to get out of my head and into the world...allowing me to better understand myself and to minimize over analyzing themes.
But lately, every time I've gone to write, I'm met with a blank stare or a full body exhaustion that says, "not now, rest, consume, don't expel, there's nothing of significance here." And to be honest, that makes me sad.
This post marks my 200th entry in eight months of hosting the blog...and so, I believe in my heart that I enjoy writing, that I'm motivated to put thought to paper (so to speak), and the commentary from all of you has been more than heartening.
So, what's wrong? Where am I? Maybe this is a normal part of the process? To feel derailed...to feel minimal...to feel that the words are just words...and maybe aren't necessary to be shared.
I'm not sure. Either way, I'm slugging through and waiting to see what emerges. My hope is more creative juice...something more to chew on....something to keep me afloat.
The beauty of writer's block.
Saturday, May 26, 2012
Summer Fun
I love, love, love summer, mostly because I love, love, love the pool.
I know that it petrifies many parents of little ones...but for some reason, I groove on it...even with three little ones under the age of seven in tow, and usually one of their playmates to boot.
There is nothing more fun than getting wet, splashing each other with water, making rafts out of noodles, seeing how long you can hold your breath, and that glorious feeling of laying on your belly to dry off in the sun.
And then for parents, there is that beautiful time post several hours in the sun when your kids are dutifully exhausted and ready to crash out to a movie or bed.
Today was our first full day at the pool and it was so much fun to talk about all of the things we didn't have to do this summer.
Get up for school. Practice our spelling words. Go to bed early. Do math homework. And the list goes on.
Summer is fun. I just have to remember our times of laughing at the pool and forget about the sibling fighting, incessant sand strewn throughout my house, multiple smoothie and fruit roll up residue and trust that our sticky popsicle, chlorine filled swim suit, super soaker, scooter/bike memories are all worth it.
Here's to summer!
I know that it petrifies many parents of little ones...but for some reason, I groove on it...even with three little ones under the age of seven in tow, and usually one of their playmates to boot.
There is nothing more fun than getting wet, splashing each other with water, making rafts out of noodles, seeing how long you can hold your breath, and that glorious feeling of laying on your belly to dry off in the sun.
And then for parents, there is that beautiful time post several hours in the sun when your kids are dutifully exhausted and ready to crash out to a movie or bed.
Today was our first full day at the pool and it was so much fun to talk about all of the things we didn't have to do this summer.
Get up for school. Practice our spelling words. Go to bed early. Do math homework. And the list goes on.
Summer is fun. I just have to remember our times of laughing at the pool and forget about the sibling fighting, incessant sand strewn throughout my house, multiple smoothie and fruit roll up residue and trust that our sticky popsicle, chlorine filled swim suit, super soaker, scooter/bike memories are all worth it.
Here's to summer!
Friday, May 25, 2012
Relationship Do Over
Do you have someone out there...someone from your past that you miss?
A person, a friend that you used to be close to and now, for a myriad of reasons (or maybe for no reason at all), you're not.
Maybe it was complicated. Maybe it wasn't. Maybe it was cut and dry. Maybe you had closure. Or maybe there was nothing other than a vacancy, a void, a silence. And the connection was over.
And sometimes, while you're driving to work, taking a shower, doing your thing, you think about them. You'd like to share your life and find out how things have been going or how things turned out with that 'thing' that they were embarking upon.
But you can't imagine saying, "I'm sorry." You're not even sure why you don't talk anymore. You just know that it's been a really long time and a phone call or an email out of the blue might feel unexpected, awkward or worse, rejected.
Should you reach out? What's it worth? Can your ego handle the response? Would a rekindled relationship started anew be a good thing?
I have someone that I miss. So, if you're reading this. I'm sorry. I hope you're well.
Relationships/friendships are such finicky contraptions. They're tender, fragile, and challenging because they're comprised of people who disappoint and fail each other. But at the heart of it, the beauty is that we can try again.
A person, a friend that you used to be close to and now, for a myriad of reasons (or maybe for no reason at all), you're not.
Maybe it was complicated. Maybe it wasn't. Maybe it was cut and dry. Maybe you had closure. Or maybe there was nothing other than a vacancy, a void, a silence. And the connection was over.
And sometimes, while you're driving to work, taking a shower, doing your thing, you think about them. You'd like to share your life and find out how things have been going or how things turned out with that 'thing' that they were embarking upon.
But you can't imagine saying, "I'm sorry." You're not even sure why you don't talk anymore. You just know that it's been a really long time and a phone call or an email out of the blue might feel unexpected, awkward or worse, rejected.
Should you reach out? What's it worth? Can your ego handle the response? Would a rekindled relationship started anew be a good thing?
I have someone that I miss. So, if you're reading this. I'm sorry. I hope you're well.
Relationships/friendships are such finicky contraptions. They're tender, fragile, and challenging because they're comprised of people who disappoint and fail each other. But at the heart of it, the beauty is that we can try again.
Thursday, May 24, 2012
A Toast to Single Parents
My husband was only out of town for a short time.
It was a quick turn around, the problem was that we were out of practice.
It had been several months since he'd boarded a jet plane for work and many a moon since I had to manage the household sans a partner.
But heck, I've done it many a time before, so why was there so much yelling, crying, and subsequent apologizing on all of our parts?
"Mama...you just hurt my feelings!"
"Well, I expect you to listen to me the first time and when I have to repeat myself, I become angry and frustrated. So, in a way, you hurt my feelings too."
"When does papa get home?"
"Not for a while."
"Why do you always yell?"
"Because you and your brother aren't making positive choices."
"I want to watch TV. I want a toy from Target. I want to go to the water slides. I want dessert."
"I want wine."
For those of you who do it alone, there is a special place for you in Heaven among saints, martyrs and the likes. You are to be commended, cherished, nurtured, and rewarded for your efforts. There is nothing more sacred than the sacrifices you make. And because your kiddos probably don't remember to pat you on the back...visualize me doing so. I stand in awe.
It was a quick turn around, the problem was that we were out of practice.
It had been several months since he'd boarded a jet plane for work and many a moon since I had to manage the household sans a partner.
But heck, I've done it many a time before, so why was there so much yelling, crying, and subsequent apologizing on all of our parts?
"Mama...you just hurt my feelings!"
"Well, I expect you to listen to me the first time and when I have to repeat myself, I become angry and frustrated. So, in a way, you hurt my feelings too."
"When does papa get home?"
"Not for a while."
"Why do you always yell?"
"Because you and your brother aren't making positive choices."
"I want to watch TV. I want a toy from Target. I want to go to the water slides. I want dessert."
"I want wine."
For those of you who do it alone, there is a special place for you in Heaven among saints, martyrs and the likes. You are to be commended, cherished, nurtured, and rewarded for your efforts. There is nothing more sacred than the sacrifices you make. And because your kiddos probably don't remember to pat you on the back...visualize me doing so. I stand in awe.
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
Your Last Day
I've been painfully aware of mortality over the past few days.
My 13-year old cousin has been patiently waiting at Children's Hospital for a bone marrow donor and after some less than encouraging news this past weekend...we're not any closer to a match and he and has mother may have to travel for the transplant.
Learning about his situation, he said, "I want to make a living will, so that I can designate presents to go to people who I love, so that they will remember me."
Heart broken on a run, Nickelback came on the playlist with the song "If Today Was Your Last Day." Listening to the lyrics, I began contemplating...what if I only had the next 24 hours to be on this earth? How would I behave differently?
Who would I say I'm sorry to? Who would I forgive? Who would I no longer dwell upon so that I could carve out space and love for those who matter most? How would I spend my time?
We all know that tomorrow is guaranteed to no one. At any moment, your time could be up. So, why do we take it for granted. Why don't we reach out? Why don't we do that one thing that we're terrifyingly afraid of? And why don't we acknowledge that this time is precious?
My cousin is teaching me that life is for the living and not for the postponing.
What would you do if today was your last day?
My 13-year old cousin has been patiently waiting at Children's Hospital for a bone marrow donor and after some less than encouraging news this past weekend...we're not any closer to a match and he and has mother may have to travel for the transplant.
Learning about his situation, he said, "I want to make a living will, so that I can designate presents to go to people who I love, so that they will remember me."
Heart broken on a run, Nickelback came on the playlist with the song "If Today Was Your Last Day." Listening to the lyrics, I began contemplating...what if I only had the next 24 hours to be on this earth? How would I behave differently?
Who would I say I'm sorry to? Who would I forgive? Who would I no longer dwell upon so that I could carve out space and love for those who matter most? How would I spend my time?
We all know that tomorrow is guaranteed to no one. At any moment, your time could be up. So, why do we take it for granted. Why don't we reach out? Why don't we do that one thing that we're terrifyingly afraid of? And why don't we acknowledge that this time is precious?
My cousin is teaching me that life is for the living and not for the postponing.
What would you do if today was your last day?
Monday, May 21, 2012
Seven Deadly Sins
According to our good friend, Wikipedia:
"The Seven Deadly Sins, also known as the Capital Vices or Cardinal Sins, is a classification of objectionable vices (part of Christian ethics) that have been used since early Christian times to educate and instruct Christians concerning fallen humanity's tendency to sin. The currently recognized version of the sins are usually given as wrath, greed, sloth, pride, lust, envy, and gluttony."
Don't ask me why I've been thinking about sinning lately....except that I find it fascinating that for most of my adult life, I've struggled with the same sinful tendencies and really haven't been tempted by the others.
Let me first say that I'm not challenged by wrath, sloth, or gluttony....but I am greedy, prideful, lusting and envious of certain things in this world.
Are these tendencies/behaviors/inclinations/desires something that overtime, can be prayed away...or are we destined to always suffer in some minor way from them? Is it how we're hard wired? Is it our cross to bear?
Do you have a favorite sin?
If I had to pick, I'd say that I fall in the lusting category the most. I pick things and experiences and assume that if they were mine that I'd be happier, healthier, more engaged, content, alive, you fill in the adjective.
And yet, the more lusting that goes on, the more unhappiness that ensues. Because as we all know, it's not what we have that makes us unhappy...it's what we think we should have and the gap that lies in between that's the problem.
Ah, the perils of the seven deadly sins. They'll get you every time.
"The Seven Deadly Sins, also known as the Capital Vices or Cardinal Sins, is a classification of objectionable vices (part of Christian ethics) that have been used since early Christian times to educate and instruct Christians concerning fallen humanity's tendency to sin. The currently recognized version of the sins are usually given as wrath, greed, sloth, pride, lust, envy, and gluttony."
Don't ask me why I've been thinking about sinning lately....except that I find it fascinating that for most of my adult life, I've struggled with the same sinful tendencies and really haven't been tempted by the others.
Let me first say that I'm not challenged by wrath, sloth, or gluttony....but I am greedy, prideful, lusting and envious of certain things in this world.
Are these tendencies/behaviors/inclinations/desires something that overtime, can be prayed away...or are we destined to always suffer in some minor way from them? Is it how we're hard wired? Is it our cross to bear?
Do you have a favorite sin?
If I had to pick, I'd say that I fall in the lusting category the most. I pick things and experiences and assume that if they were mine that I'd be happier, healthier, more engaged, content, alive, you fill in the adjective.
And yet, the more lusting that goes on, the more unhappiness that ensues. Because as we all know, it's not what we have that makes us unhappy...it's what we think we should have and the gap that lies in between that's the problem.
Ah, the perils of the seven deadly sins. They'll get you every time.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)