Four years ago, I opened my conflict resolution practice.
Six years ago, I started teaching at a university.
Eight years ago I ran a marathon.
Eleven years ago I gave birth to our third child.
Eighteen years ago I walked down the aisle and completed my master's degree.
Twenty five years ago I graduated from college after studying abroad.
Thirty years ago, I was the age my son is today.
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As I look back over 47-years, I stand in awe...what a wild life.
And as I ponder what makes a good life, I have to believe that so much of it is showing up amidst the not knowing.
Showing up when you don't know what you're doing.
Showing up when you're scared.
Showing up when you're pretty sure it's gonna be shitty.
Showing up when you're tired.
Showing up when you'd rather not.
Showing up when the something on the other side isn't deserving.
Showing up when you have no guarantees.
*****
Presence is happiness. Presence and intentional engagement in the here and now with all of its sticky, flawed, oily, frustrating, beautiful madness is the only way to know you're alive.
And believe me, in the last few years, people I have really loved have died too early, and with their abrupt departure, I have learned that we only have the now--not the now when we're ten pounds lighter or ten fold richer or prettied up...just the present moment.
And so, as I embark upon this 47th year, I say, hooray...I lucked out...I made it to another year of life...another moment of continuing to show up...
To see my son embark upon his senior year of high school and his epic college selection process.
To discover my eldest daughter slaying her high school experience while she masters archery during the day and en pointe at night.
To witness my youngest daughter break boards in taekwondo and write short stories that she fully intends to publish.
All while I share my hopes and incessant worries with a brilliant partner who is willingly in all of the details.
This life is a gift. The decision to inhabit this new year is a choice. May I continue to choose wisely. May I continue to show up imperfectly over and over again remembering that tomorrow is guaranteed to no one and this time is for the living.
