So many moments to say yes to the hard, gritty good stuff...and no, to that which is not meant for us.
Here's to the myriad of yes's and no's that we've attested to in our union.
Yes, to commitment--to the continued decision to do all of the things--and I do mean all of the things.
Ballet, Taekwondo, Piano, Football, Speech, Scouts, STAC competitions, Narnia projects, summer camps, First Holy Communion, Small Faith Confirmation group, art supplies, sewing materials, Magic the Gathering tournaments, homework, play practices, recitals, pick ups, drop offs...
Yes to dishes and laundry and endless trips to Costco. Yes to "she seems sad, what do you think?," and "Why is he being an asshole?," and "I can't get her to talk to me."
Yes to "you should start your own business...I know you're afraid...do it anyway. I'll be here, no matter what."
Yes to, "I think she just threw up, and your mom called, and I need to stay late at work, and what the fuck am I going to make for dinner?, and I'm so, so, so tired."
Yes to, "Oh my God, he got a scholarship...she's reading Harry Potter books...and her art work is amazing."
Yes to, "I'm sorry," not because it's required, but because we can't bare the first sip of coffee until we've owned our part.
Yes to prayer and uncertainty and relentless hope for the future.
Yes to "I believe in you," and "trust me," and "help, I can't do this by myself."
***
No to excuses and "we've got tomorrow," especially after Nathan died.
No to comparison and the remote possibility that the grass is greener on the other side. We've met them, and the Jones's just aren't as fun as we are.
No to disrespect, meanness, jealousy, and petty comments that serve no one.
No to "I'm putting in more than you," because at the end of the day, we're both all in.
No to screaming louder or keeping score.
No to being the preferred the parent. We know that you are.
No to making a bigger deal out of it than it deserves.
No to giving any energy to the things and people who take us away from what matters most--our faith and our family.
***
Fifteen years equals 15 million moments of picking us again and again--knowing that this--all of this--is imperfect, strained, a work in progress--a beautiful, messy, hodge podge of a life that we get to call ours...all because we said yes in a little church and no to giving up...and amen to the promise of something better because we are together.
Happy Anniversary, my love...
